Echoes in a Hollow Space

Never lie to crows

2021-05-06T23:49:31Z

Yesterday I went out to my car to run the engine so the battery didn't die. I usually try to get out and drive around to accomplish this, but I have not had the (mostly mental) energy for it recently. However, it was getting on towards two weeks since I’d driven anywhere and I have a sorry history of killing batteries so sitting in the car reading a book while running the engine was the best alternative.

But as I opened the car door one of the neighborhood murder of crows that I feed landed on the garage roof about six feet from me and gave me The Look. "Where is my snack?"

I told him, "I'm sorry. I don't have anything for you right now. Maybe later." He looked deep into my eyes, bobbed his head as if nodding, and flew away.

So after I'd finished with the car, I went inside and got a snack and threw it out front for him and his crew of crows. (It's not a good idea to lie to crows.) I didn't hear him or his fellows. Sometimes they are quite raucous when snacks are around, sometimes silent and efficient consumers.

But when I looked out a little while later the snacks had magically disappeared.

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A Tale of the Crow Tarot and of Crows and of Art

2019-10-24T20:47:57Z

I was initially drawn to this deck when one of the people I follow did a reading featuring the Knight of Swords (yes, that guy again) and used the Familiars deck. The suit of swords in that deck are crows and as some of you may remember, I have something of a thing regarding crows. I thought, “Oh, I have to get that one!” (Any excuse to buy another deck.) But in poking around on Amazon I came across the Crow Tarot by MJ Cullinane. It looked great, and since I didn’t have the money for both decks, I bought that one.

I can’t tell you how much I love this deck. It’s not only beautiful it just—I don’t know, feels good. In the interview I did with the deck, when I asked, “What are your limits as a deck?” it answered with the Moon, which I took to mean, “I dwell on the shadow side and illusions.” But I haven’t found that to be so. Maybe if I work with it a bit longer I will, but so far I have found it otherwise. “How can I best learn and collaborate with you?” I asked. “I will show you play and wonder, new ideas.” (Page of Cups)

As soon as I took the plastic off the deck and looked at the first card (The Fool), the crows started cawing outside. This is not such an unusual thing as I feed the local murder and they’re always about in the neighborhood. But the timing was amusing. All through my two readings they were cawing and making noise walking around on the metal roof of the art room (also known as the bird’s room from when my pet starling lived there). They don’t often do that—but I had fed them a couple of hours earlier so maybe they were saying thank you?

This is a very “jumpy” deck. I’ve started using a loose shuffle technique to give cards a chance to “jump out” of the deck while I’m asking a question. (As the saying goes, “If it falls to the floor, it comes to your door.”) With the Aquarian and the Marseille, which I’ve also used recently, that didn’t happen too often. It happens a lot with the Crow Tarot. Also, it’s not uncommon for a small group of cards to turn themselves perpendicular to the rest of the deck, as if trying to reverse themselves. If that happens, I push them back in that reversed position and keep shuffling.

My friend came over Sunday for a “craft day,” something we do on a semi-regular basis in order to encourage each other to do work on projects outside our normal range of arty stuff. (She’s a painter, I’m mostly a writer, and taking an arty break from our usual disciplines sometimes shakes things loose in the more “serious” projects.) It’s also a great excuse for kibitzing. I was showing her the Crow Tarot because it’s so beautiful. She was going through it and talking about how she wants to get a deck and do daily cards, but she was also talking about her current struggle with her painting. She wants to go in a different direction and she has a clear vision of what she wants to do, but something inside her is resisting, holding her back.

She handed the deck back to me and I was just about the put it away when The Fool jumped out and landed on the floor between us—reversed for me, upright for her. I read out the reversed meaning, assuming it was for me, but it didn’t seem to fit my current situation without stretching things. I put the card back and asked her if she wanted to do the card a day thing with this deck. She did, and shuffled the deck, eventually turning up the top card: The Fool, upright.

“…The Fool card asks that you have faith in the universe and live fearlessly. You will come through the storm. If you allow hope to replace fear, imagine the adventures you have waiting.”

“All right, already,” she said. “I get it.”

I should also note that my card of the day for yesterday was The Fool. Upright. All right, already. I get it.

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White

2019-08-16T20:35:40Z

Random quote of the day:

“In order to disprove the assertion that all crows are black, one white crow is sufficient.”

—William James, quoted in William James on Psychical Research by Gardner Murphy and
Robert O. Ballou

Disclaimer: The views expressed in this random quote of the day do not necessarily reflect the views of the poster, her immediate family, Key and Peele, Celine Dion, or Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band. They do, however, sometimes reflect the views of the Cottingley Fairies.

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Musings

2019-07-12T22:31:36Z

TV Show pitch: This Old Crone
Like the PBS seres, This Old House (the original remodeling show), but featuring the transformation of an old crone rather than an old home. It should be hosted by the person who really knows how to do the work rather than the half-assed dilettante hosebag. In this series, instead of covering up the flaws in the crone, we shine a bright spotlight on them so that anyone, including the crone, can learn from them. And the eccentricities of construction will be celebrated rather than trying to turn them into something sleek and modern. Repair work will be done, of course, but with the knowledge that decrepitude is inevitable and the only sure and certain principle ruling the Universe is entropy. Rather than mourning this, the show will encourage us to accept it with as much grace and dignity as possible and learn from it, as well. But we must also remember that if entropy rules the Universe, irony is its only begotten daughter.

Everyone's path is their own. No path is superior. Everyone has to find their own way. The path of quiet contemplation is as valid as the full-throated war cry. Anyone who judges your path isn't as secure in their own as they think they are. One person has trouble crossing a room without pain; another climbs mountains. In the end, it doesn't matter. All that matters is the flame in your heart. If it dies, you've failed. If it's still burning, you're still burning, and you're where you need to be.

One of my ancestors is named Mary Polly Armor and I always want to read that as Mary Polyamory. #BecauseThatsJustTheSortOfBrainIHave

What’s the first major news event you remember in your lifetime? I was going to say the assassination of JFK but it’s really the Cuban Missile Crisis. I remember those drills, our young teacher herding us little bitty kids into the cloakroom to shelter. I remember her crying each time and I didn’t figure out until later that it was because she never knew if we were hiding out because it was real and the bombs were on the way or if it was just another drill. I was terrified and didn't really know why.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the notion that paranormal activity is caused by places being built on Indian burial grounds. It’s quite prevalent in paranormal research and I’ve also fallen prey to the thought of vengeful native spirits. Lately, I’ve reconsidered this. It’s as essentially racist as the Ancient Aliens/Van Daniken notion that primitive (read “people of color”) societies could not possibly have invented the wonders they did—it had to be gifted to them from Space Overlords. The Indian burial ground notion has even pervaded popular horror movie culture. The one exception to this that I can think of in popular culture (rather than supposedly legit research) is the movie Poltergeist. The dead folks in that movie were just vengeful dead folks, not vengeful natives. I can't think of such an exception in paranormal research. It makes me feel guilty that I even considered the Indian burial ground scenario. Although I'm not sure my white guilt is any more helpful than white appropriation or white nullification of culture. Mostly I realize it's not about me except for when I can work for positive change.

Here near LAX we got a gentle rolling from the July 5th 7.1 earthquake (downgraded to only 6.9), but it did go on for a very long time. Sometimes they are gentle at first then the big whammy hits, so until things stop there's always the fear it will get bigger. One of my neighbors was standing out in her front yard screaming, however, which I thought kind of extreme but it takes everybody different. I did feel seasick afterwards, though.

The only thing I know is that whatever negative thing you are when you're young, you will still be that negative thing when you're old, only more so. Unless you do a s*** ton of work on yourself between youth and age, if you're a young rage monkey he'll be in old age monkey; if you're a judgmental young twat you'll be a judgmental old twat. The good news is, if you're a thoughtful, considerate person when you're young you'll most likely still be a thoughtful, considerate old person. The seeds of who our selves are planted at the moment of our birth.

I think the dictation on my Word program must be Scottish. It never wants to capitalize the name Ken.

I lived a block from the Sidewalk Cafe in the 80s. We often ate there in the day time, but knew to stay off the Boardwalk at night: too wild & dangerous for girls on their own. It sounds like things have changed—and not changed: https://www.theparisreview.org/blog/2019/05/08/a-night-with-a-bouncer/#.XRlOldiNsgk.twitter

I have to confess that as much as I loathe Ancient Aliens, it's a good show to have on for background noise when I'm not feeling very well. I can read Twitter while it's playing and look up every once in a while to yell very rude things at the screen. #NeverSaidIWasntWeird

I don't feed the crows every day. But every time I do feed them, the day after one of them will perch on the rail near my open front door and yell at me to feed them again. #LoveThemCrows

The Detectorists – a lovely, gentle, funny show. One of my favorites.

I have a terrible confession to make. I hope you'll still be my friends once you hear it: I like the lumps in cream of wheat.

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Musings

2019-06-05T23:24:56Z

My problem as a fantasy writer is that I'm too logically-minded for dragons. I swore I would never use them, but I went back on that promise to myself for one novel and it didn’t work out so well.

Someone suggested that it might be interesting to do a story from the POV of a very logical/intellectual dragon. I tried doing such a creature but reached the inevitable scene where someone needed to ride it and my mind rebelled against the usual scenario. It’s scientifically impossible for a human to ride on a dragon’s back. They'd be killed instantly, torn off the beast by wind velocity and g-forces. I couldn't suspend my own disbelief in that regard and the alternate solution I came up with was utterly ridiculous.

So, an otherwise good novel was ruined in the third act. Alas, I didn't have the heart for a complete rewrite at that point. And as time went on I realized there were other problems. (I tried to write a trilogy in one book, for one.) The dragon was just the most egregious.

Lesson learned: if you're going to pull the dragon trigger, you've got to go all in, suspend your disbelief and have humans ride them in defiance of all laws of physics. Or don't pull that trigger.

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I hate it when a trilogy is just good enough that you need to keep going but not good enough to be enthusiastic about it.

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It's always a toss-up whether the Science Channel is going to inform me or scare the crap out of me.

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Maybe our alien overlords will impeach Trump. Then again, I don't think even they could get it through the GOP-controlled Senate.

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Finally worked up enough nerve to open this box.

When in conversation I mention that I never really wanted children there is a certain species of woman who goes on about missing out on the miracle of birth and I want to say to them, "What a bunch of sexist crap." It's about choice, ladies, not about being brainwashed by social norms. I even had one tell me, "I'm sure you console yourself with that." Believe me, if I really wanted to get knocked up it’s the easiest thing in the world. I just didn't want it.

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The crows around here get most of my table scraps and leftovers that are past their prime. There's one crow who sits atop the telephone pole near my house as a lookout. His job is to caw-caw-caw really loudly if I (or anyone else) throw things out into the yard. But before he does that he first comes down to help himself to a nice snack. Then he flies back to the telephone pole or the roof of my house and sends out the alert to the other crows. He ain't no crow's fool.

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You know, even if you roast troll meat in olive oil and garlic with some fine herbes it still tastes like sweat and urine.

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"Primitive" is such a Western-o-centric word, don't you think?

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Day three, week four – tanka*

2018-03-06T20:37:16Z

The crow maintains a
wary eye. After years of
feeding him he still
keeps distant, unbelieving
in the kindness of mankind.

*For a definition of what constitutes haiku, tanka, and cinquains, and for an explanation of this poetry project, go here.

*To see all the poems in one place go here.

Mirrored from Better Than Dead.

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