It is. That freedom is an important and burdensome thing.
I briefly considered doing a memoir, and for a few days there the words were flowing fast. But they stopped—not choked off, they just petered out. Ultimately I realized that taking care of her for five years, being in essence the mom in that situation, had burned away all the anger and other negative stuff and I really didn't need to go there again. It would be tantamount to recreating it simply for the sake of recreating it, and I was really glad it was gone, frankly. I'm a healthier person to have it gone. The past will inevitably find its way into whatever I do next, and I'm fine with that. I'm just going to let it seep in organically rather than doing a formal visitation.
I will find my subject matter again in time. I feel that's inevitable, too.
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Date: 2017-03-17 05:02 pm (UTC)I briefly considered doing a memoir, and for a few days there the words were flowing fast. But they stopped—not choked off, they just petered out. Ultimately I realized that taking care of her for five years, being in essence the mom in that situation, had burned away all the anger and other negative stuff and I really didn't need to go there again. It would be tantamount to recreating it simply for the sake of recreating it, and I was really glad it was gone, frankly. I'm a healthier person to have it gone. The past will inevitably find its way into whatever I do next, and I'm fine with that. I'm just going to let it seep in organically rather than doing a formal visitation.
I will find my subject matter again in time. I feel that's inevitable, too.