Death to all pleasure!
Aug. 4th, 2004 02:25 pmOh well, not actual pleasure. But to the word itself--yes! Yes! Oh God! Yes!
Right. You guessed it. I've been rewriting a sex scene. This one written back in November or December so I've got scads more perspective on it. And in each and every case, the use of "pleasure" was not only totally unnecessary, it was clunky and distracting—and yes, giggleworthy. (Yes, Jon, you were right each and every time. Mark this date on your calendar.)
But it's easily remedied: just scratch the danged word out. Of the possible descriptors (ecstasy, rapture, blech blah blah) pleasure is perhaps the least idiotic, but the use of such descriptors is completely unnecessary. Have your character shiver and groan and most people will get from context that it isn't because they're in pain.
Well, in some sex scene universes I guess you might have to distinguish between the two, but mostly nah, I don't think so. "Context carries emotion. Trust your readers. They will get it."
Yes, Master, use me at thy will...
Oops. Wrong context.
P.S. I've finished through chapter 22 (old chapter 21) if anyone is counting.
Right. You guessed it. I've been rewriting a sex scene. This one written back in November or December so I've got scads more perspective on it. And in each and every case, the use of "pleasure" was not only totally unnecessary, it was clunky and distracting—and yes, giggleworthy. (Yes, Jon, you were right each and every time. Mark this date on your calendar.)
But it's easily remedied: just scratch the danged word out. Of the possible descriptors (ecstasy, rapture, blech blah blah) pleasure is perhaps the least idiotic, but the use of such descriptors is completely unnecessary. Have your character shiver and groan and most people will get from context that it isn't because they're in pain.
Well, in some sex scene universes I guess you might have to distinguish between the two, but mostly nah, I don't think so. "Context carries emotion. Trust your readers. They will get it."
Yes, Master, use me at thy will...
Oops. Wrong context.
P.S. I've finished through chapter 22 (old chapter 21) if anyone is counting.