Good metaphors

Random quote of the day:


"We do not think good metaphors are anything very important, but I think a good metaphor is something even the police should keep an eye on."

—Georg Christoph Lichtenberg, Aphorisms, 1775-1776 (tr. R. J. Hollingdale)




( Illustrated version. )

Yes, this quote came up randomly. But I am profoundly grateful to the Universe for providing me with such an excellent example this week.

The Friday Confessional*

I do not like beets, turnips, or stealth turnips (rutabagas). Every time I read a book in which someone consumes one of these vegetables, I get the woogily doogilies up my spine.

I'm not overly crazy for most melons (cantaloupe is the one exception). I do, however, love the smell of melons. Over the years, melon lovers have tried to make me feel like an freak because of my inclination to smell but my disinclination to partake. Shame, vile meloneaters.

I do not like kiwis (New Zealanders and birds excepted). When they first starting showing up in the United States, I glommed quite a lot of them. They were expensive and fashionable. I was young, I was shallow (though those two conditions do not necessarily always go together). One day I finally said to myself, "God, these things are awful." I have been a better person for the admission.

I have, however, been known to lust for mangoes. I cannot think of a single, solitary vegetable I lust for—unless you count potatoes. I did go through an aberrant phase earlier this summer of lusting for roasted vegetables, especially roasted Brussels sprouts—which before I roasted them I loathed with the loathing of beets, turnips, and rutabagas.



*The first in an occasional and arbitrary series of silly and irrelevant posts.