
In an attempt to get a handle on the mountains of paper in old journals and filing cabinets that constitute my writing life, I've been going through old junk and slowly pdf-ing it. Very slowly. Definitely a long-term project, done here and there when I have the time and energy. The thought is that I will throw the crumbling bits of paper away once the pdf-ing is complete, but although I've made decent progress . . . ahem. I haven't actually thrown anything away yet.
I will, I will, seriously I will. But some things are easier to discard than others. Like, the crumbling bits of paper from the 1980s on which I typed things (on an actual typewriter) in the olden days before I had a computer. Personal computers weren't even invented until 1976 (Jobs & Wozniak, Apple I) and most working class folk couldn't afford them until way beyond that. So those of us who are middle-aged remember a time when typewriters were still common. (I still have a couple of antiques in the garage. Maybe a future e-Bay project?)
But I digress. I was recycling even back then, chiefly because typing paper was damned expensive and I was young and poor. I saved clean paper for final drafts and turned in homework. I've got stories and story ideas and outlines, etc., typed on the back of all sorts of things: flyers, term papers, discarded memos and pin-feed computer report sheets cut down to approximate 8-1/2x11 size . . . There's a cornucopia of my life and the working life of my mom in some of those old files, slowly rotting. I know I should throw it away. I will eventually throw it away, but I've got to say, the temptation to turn the page over and pdf the context (the memo, the report, the term paper) is strong.
Silly, sentimental, but strong. I never claimed to be anything but silly and sentimental, but I think in this instance I will resist temptation.
Probably. For the most part.
Check back with me later.
Truth be told, I should throw away all that old writing, as it's a million words of bad and I'll probably never turn it into anything worth saving. But I know I won't be getting rid of it. It's worthless, but it's a part of me. Throwing it away would be an act of disrespect to my younger self that I just can't bring myself to.
I'll leave that numbing task to whatever poor soul has to clean out my house and my computer after I'm gone.