My life, with plumbing
Jun. 12th, 2009 01:01 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
pjthompsonI think indoor plumbing is amongst the greatest inventions of mankind. Except, of course, when it's not. Then it is, perhaps, amongst the worst.
I seem to have a peculiar karma when it comes to plumbing. My legendary apartment of yore was infamous on this blog for its plumbing "issues," and much merriment was known in the land from my tales of vomiting sinks and hydroplaning trips across my kitchen floor. The sound of gurgling from the direction of a kitchen or a bathroom still works on my neural pathways to send me into a panic. And the bad plumbing spirits seem to have followed me to my current abode of the last three and a half years. Slowly but surely we are replacing every length of pipe underneath the house: $3000 here, $6000 there, and pretty soon you're talking real money, to paraphrase Sam Goldwyn. Our plumbers probably get golden dreams every time we call them.
I heard the horrifying sound of gurgling coming from my bathroom Tuesday night and ran in to discover the toilet acting as if it had a resident evil water spirit (or maybe I've just been reading too much lately about evil water spirits). Then the evil enchantment vanished as if it had never been. Everything seemed to be moving along nicely. We relaxed—until my shower the next morning. Soon the toilet, the shower, plus the toilet and shower in the roommate's bathroom all started channeling the spirit of Linda Blair from The Exorcist. I fled to work while the roommate called the plumber. He roto-rooted and everything was sunshine and happiness in the land once more. Until I came home from work and did a load of laundry. It was even worse than before, but as it was the middle of the night, and whereas everything eventually drained, we decided to wait for morning to get the plumber back. He roto-rooted again, using a bigger roto. Apparently, you have to be careful of size because if the damned things get stuck, there's no way of retracting them short of digging a big trench, opening the pipes, and charging the sorry home owner a really exorbitant fee. Who knew?
The upshot of all this? The current rooting around is only a temporary fix. The fault, dear Brutus, is in the connecting sewer pipe that joins our property to the city mains and the roots of the city trees that have done such wonderful work mucking things up. Because the problem is on our side of the sidewalk, however, the city kindly insists that we have to pay for it. Fixing it is going to involve digging a really big trench and charging us a really big fee. We have maybe a couple of months to make up our minds, but they won't guarantee the fix any longer than that.
Oh, and somewhere in the middle of all this I came down with the 24 stomach flu that the roommate had last weekend. Stomach flu and plumbing problems—not a felicitous combination. And to put the perfect cap on a perfect situation: yesterday when I typed the email saying I wouldn't be into work, I typed the wrong alias. The alias on my work machine for sending mail to my colleagues was the same as my yahoo alias for the message board for the Online Writing Workshop. So now hundreds and hundreds of people knew I had trouble with my plumbing and trouble with my plumbing.
Fortunately, I didn't get too graphic (it was to my colleages, after all), but it was very embarrassing. I don't know why that email is embarrassing while talking about it here is not, but there you have it. Today, everything seems much more hilarious than it did yesterday. Life does require one to have a keen sense of irony sometimes in order to survive.
I seem to have a peculiar karma when it comes to plumbing. My legendary apartment of yore was infamous on this blog for its plumbing "issues," and much merriment was known in the land from my tales of vomiting sinks and hydroplaning trips across my kitchen floor. The sound of gurgling from the direction of a kitchen or a bathroom still works on my neural pathways to send me into a panic. And the bad plumbing spirits seem to have followed me to my current abode of the last three and a half years. Slowly but surely we are replacing every length of pipe underneath the house: $3000 here, $6000 there, and pretty soon you're talking real money, to paraphrase Sam Goldwyn. Our plumbers probably get golden dreams every time we call them.
I heard the horrifying sound of gurgling coming from my bathroom Tuesday night and ran in to discover the toilet acting as if it had a resident evil water spirit (or maybe I've just been reading too much lately about evil water spirits). Then the evil enchantment vanished as if it had never been. Everything seemed to be moving along nicely. We relaxed—until my shower the next morning. Soon the toilet, the shower, plus the toilet and shower in the roommate's bathroom all started channeling the spirit of Linda Blair from The Exorcist. I fled to work while the roommate called the plumber. He roto-rooted and everything was sunshine and happiness in the land once more. Until I came home from work and did a load of laundry. It was even worse than before, but as it was the middle of the night, and whereas everything eventually drained, we decided to wait for morning to get the plumber back. He roto-rooted again, using a bigger roto. Apparently, you have to be careful of size because if the damned things get stuck, there's no way of retracting them short of digging a big trench, opening the pipes, and charging the sorry home owner a really exorbitant fee. Who knew?
The upshot of all this? The current rooting around is only a temporary fix. The fault, dear Brutus, is in the connecting sewer pipe that joins our property to the city mains and the roots of the city trees that have done such wonderful work mucking things up. Because the problem is on our side of the sidewalk, however, the city kindly insists that we have to pay for it. Fixing it is going to involve digging a really big trench and charging us a really big fee. We have maybe a couple of months to make up our minds, but they won't guarantee the fix any longer than that.
Oh, and somewhere in the middle of all this I came down with the 24 stomach flu that the roommate had last weekend. Stomach flu and plumbing problems—not a felicitous combination. And to put the perfect cap on a perfect situation: yesterday when I typed the email saying I wouldn't be into work, I typed the wrong alias. The alias on my work machine for sending mail to my colleagues was the same as my yahoo alias for the message board for the Online Writing Workshop. So now hundreds and hundreds of people knew I had trouble with my plumbing and trouble with my plumbing.
Fortunately, I didn't get too graphic (it was to my colleages, after all), but it was very embarrassing. I don't know why that email is embarrassing while talking about it here is not, but there you have it. Today, everything seems much more hilarious than it did yesterday. Life does require one to have a keen sense of irony sometimes in order to survive.
no subject
Date: 2009-06-12 09:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-06-12 10:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-06-13 01:02 am (UTC)If a tree, planted on your easements, belongs to the city, and it is interfering with the delivery and elimination of water supplies, then it is the responibility of the owner of the aforesaid tree to foot the bill. Ask them if they would be ok with having it felled? I think, at that point, they will go into a collective hissy fit and say MINE. That is a two way street. If it is theirs, then they are responsible for any damage it causes to you infrastructure.
City bylaws must be made publically available. They will be on the web under the city site. Municipalities will also bust a gut to try to convince the home owner that the city is not responsible. This is not usually deliberate, but the act of a lazy individual, who would like this off their desk. They budget for expected expenses in the previous year for the subsequent year so this means they will be very resistant to new costs. They also have an emergency contingency fund and are well covered by insurance.
Do not sit back and swallow this cost. Go for the jugular. Also investigate your own home insurance. I think you might find root invasion into water pipes is covered. I say this because I once had a backup that flooded my basement for the same reasons. It covered the routing and it covered the replacement of all the water damaged possessions.
When you write to your city, cc all the members of the council and your local MP and your State Representative. This ensure that not only will your email be treated as urgent and not conveniently 'forgotten', but it will also ensure that the people with actual power will be investigating the issue you have.
In the final anaysis, those who make the most noise are those who end up with what they want. This is insider info. Use it to your advantage. What are they going to say in the worst case scenario? No? Well they might say yes. They should be saying yes. Make it so.
Hugs.
no subject
Date: 2009-06-13 05:16 am (UTC)Oh, Lord, have mercy!
Very well written, m'dear. You had me laughing aloud in spite of the fact that I'm cringing over the horribleness that is your plumbing situation. I am so, so sorry!
no subject
Date: 2009-06-13 07:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-06-13 07:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-06-13 07:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-06-13 07:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-06-13 07:33 pm (UTC)Then my work here is done. ;-) Srsly, you've got to find a way to laugh at this stuff or it would make you insane.
no subject
Date: 2009-06-13 07:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-06-14 12:53 am (UTC)So, if they admit to ownership, which is highly probably, it will be up to them to hire and pay for a contractor to remove the offending tree. Once someone has been retarded enough to admit to owning the tree by agreeing to have it felled, and get this in writing, the other department is consequently hooped. They would have to pay compensation at that point.
Please bear in mind that a municipality will have the mindset that 'we are a big municipality and can do what we want and you are an ignorant home owner who doesn't know the ins and outs'. Sad, but true. Nine tenths of the people working in admin will not have a clue as to a park bylaw and will have no inclination to spend time looking for the relevant one. Certainly not when they can scare you off with an official and pompos sounding letter. If the tree is planted on an easement, then the chance are that it is their's. It would be especially true if it matches other trees on the boulevard. Municipalities plant similar species or the same species. It it happens to be a Brandon Elm, then it is almost certainly theirs. This would also prove true if it were a huge and long lived boulevard tree. You will find out for sure by asking them to take it down. They would then have to check ownership. I would definitely be asking a lawyer.
no subject
Date: 2009-06-14 08:59 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-06-14 05:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-06-14 07:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-06-17 06:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-06-17 07:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-06-17 07:58 pm (UTC)