Every novel sucks in its own way
Mar. 1st, 2006 12:30 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
pjthompsonYes, it does. Especially in the first draft, but sometimes even in the final draft. I have to accept that and move on. There is no perfect thing on earth. Rather than beat myself up for not attaining perfection, I remind myself (on my good days) that we are all striving for enlightenment, and must not cease striving for it, but nirvana does not exist on earth.
And I also realize that if I don't have a crisis at the front end of writing a novel, I will have one in the middle, or at the end. (Please, God, not all three.) It seems to be part of the process.
Night Warrior/Born to Darkness seems the worst of the four I've written, but I wonder if that's colored by not remembering the sturm und drang of the previous experiences? I think the life stress of the year in which I've written it contributed to that feeling, but there were life stressors going on for all of them. It's probably a function of selective memory that this seems worst. I remind myself it took me twelve years of false starts on this novel before I could get it to go. At least the middle went fairly smooth.
Shivery Bones was also a bear to start, had the predictable saggy middle, but my perception is that once I'd passed that, it went well in the last half. Blood Geek went great at the beginning and end, but that middle was soooooo nasty. Heart of Power, my first completed novel, was a real puzzle piece, trying to figure out how to do this for the first time. When I'd finished, I lived for a time under the illusion that I'd finally figured out how to write novels. It wasn't until I tried the next one that I realized each one basically starts at zero. Each time is a different process and has to be figured out in different ways because, hopefully, I'm writing a different book each time with unique problems of its own.
Not what I wanted to realize at the beginning of a project, but there you are. And having realized that, I didn't have quite as big a crisis of faith when it came to novel number three. There were plenty of other crises of faith for me to get over, but . . . it's not a perfect world.
Quote of the day:
"Everybody owned their memories, no matter who was in them. She had a brief vision of the scattering of selves she'd left behind all over the country, snakeskin [selves] in the heads of this person of that, [selves] she had stepped out of but which still held her shape and character."
—Nina Kiriki Hoffman, Past the Size of Dreaming
Ironically, in light of my post of yesterday, this came out of the random quote file today.
In other news: Dr. Dramaqueen last night told me I was lucky. My eye healed completely without any scarring. He was sure I'd have a scar. I'm glad he was wrong. I now have my contacts back and can see again. Huzzah.
And I also realize that if I don't have a crisis at the front end of writing a novel, I will have one in the middle, or at the end. (Please, God, not all three.) It seems to be part of the process.
Night Warrior/Born to Darkness seems the worst of the four I've written, but I wonder if that's colored by not remembering the sturm und drang of the previous experiences? I think the life stress of the year in which I've written it contributed to that feeling, but there were life stressors going on for all of them. It's probably a function of selective memory that this seems worst. I remind myself it took me twelve years of false starts on this novel before I could get it to go. At least the middle went fairly smooth.
Shivery Bones was also a bear to start, had the predictable saggy middle, but my perception is that once I'd passed that, it went well in the last half. Blood Geek went great at the beginning and end, but that middle was soooooo nasty. Heart of Power, my first completed novel, was a real puzzle piece, trying to figure out how to do this for the first time. When I'd finished, I lived for a time under the illusion that I'd finally figured out how to write novels. It wasn't until I tried the next one that I realized each one basically starts at zero. Each time is a different process and has to be figured out in different ways because, hopefully, I'm writing a different book each time with unique problems of its own.
Not what I wanted to realize at the beginning of a project, but there you are. And having realized that, I didn't have quite as big a crisis of faith when it came to novel number three. There were plenty of other crises of faith for me to get over, but . . . it's not a perfect world.
Quote of the day:
"Everybody owned their memories, no matter who was in them. She had a brief vision of the scattering of selves she'd left behind all over the country, snakeskin [selves] in the heads of this person of that, [selves] she had stepped out of but which still held her shape and character."
—Nina Kiriki Hoffman, Past the Size of Dreaming
Ironically, in light of my post of yesterday, this came out of the random quote file today.
In other news: Dr. Dramaqueen last night told me I was lucky. My eye healed completely without any scarring. He was sure I'd have a scar. I'm glad he was wrong. I now have my contacts back and can see again. Huzzah.
no subject
Date: 2006-03-01 01:18 pm (UTC)And well said about every novel starting at Zero.
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Date: 2006-03-01 01:40 pm (UTC)I guess I was more worried about this then I knew because I was sure happy skippy when I left the doc last night.
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Date: 2006-03-01 08:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-02 01:54 pm (UTC)