Please help me with my plot

[pjthompson]

ETA: This isn't a paranormal romance, but a contemporary fantasy with a romance element. And the plot element discussed here is not the main conflict, but feeds into the main, more serious conflict.

I'm trying to get outside my own head here to see what other people might do given a certain set of circumstances. I know what I've written, but I can't help thinking it needs a reality check. I seriously want to know what people might do in these situations.

Here's the situation, Part 1: You've just met someone, but the chemistry is terrific, and everything you learn about him/her is terrific, and you come to believe in his/her sincerity, sensitivity, and many other endearing qualities. Even though it's only been a few days, you think you might be falling in love. Then someone you don't know sends an email saying there are things about this person you don't know and should know. Almost no one knows you've been dating, so how did this person know? They direct you to a website where you can learn more about this. Do you...?

[Poll #1724358]

Here's the situation, Part 2: Let's say you click through and check out the website. It thoroughly trashes your Potential Beloved's reputation. But the stuff it's talking about happened many years ago when your PB was only fifteen. Let's say you yourself got up to some really crazy stuff when you were fifteen, too. Let's further say you have real issues with deception. PB's shady past involves sexual pecadiloes and dishonest, if not quite fraudulent, behavior. As far as you can tell, he/she has led an exemplary life since. Do you...?

[Poll #1724359]


Thanks!

Comments

[aeriedraconia.livejournal.com]

Note: The romance and paranormal romance genres are not really my thing (too much boyfriend, not enough roller derby).
Note 2:This is just me but I don't believe in love at first sight (attraction, yes, love, no) and that bounces me out of a story right off.


My honest first reaction:
#1
I wouldn't like it all if my new prospective love interest, who seemed perfect, had some random, anonymous dirt come at me out of nowhere. I wouldn't the email click because it's probably a psycho ex spewing vitriol and or sending a virus and I'm not into drama. I'd ignore the email and be watching the guy for psychotic episodes being ready to dump him at a moments notice.

#2
I'd dump the guy like a hot brick and never look back. See some of above response too.

[pjthompson.livejournal.com]

Thanks. I appreciate the view from outside somebody else's skull. ;-D

Acutally, this isn't paranormal romance, but a more general contemporary fantasy with a romance element, but yeah.

I was wondering about the skeeve/pathetic aspects of this plot twist.

[aeriedraconia.livejournal.com]

I think I'd have less of an issue with #1 if a real person (who is Not the psycho ex) came up to me and gave me a warning (not have it happen via email) but I'd still eye the love prospect with a heavy dose of suspicion. It will depend a lot upon your hero/ine's character (I'm not super trusting especially when my gut says something feels dangerous or hinky).

#2 If this character 'has issues with deception' s/he will probably not be able to accept the love interest with anything short of a major 'prove yourself to me' trial or three.

[pjthompson.livejournal.com]

Actually, the person who sent the email (unbeknownst to the MC) decided to email rather than say it in person because he's got an agenda against the PB and figured the MC would never buy it in person.

[asakiyume.livejournal.com]

I'm trying to think about what I'd really, really do, and each time it's one of the first two.

(1) If I were feeling very impulsive, I might just click through, because it would be so weird and strange, and I'd be intensely curious ... but not knowing the sender, and seeing as my PB seems like a pretty wonderful guy, I might do second-choice there, and click when he was there--or at least ask him what I'm likely to find.

(2) I **do** hate dishonesty. If I've been lied to once by someone (about something important; I'm not talking about "Did you eat the last popsicle?"), I find it very hard to believe anything they say subsequently. I'm always aware of the fact that at their convenience, and for their own reasons, they may come out with a fabrication.

However, when I really like someone, and if there's lots of objective evidence out there of their good behavior, I probably want to cut them some slack....

[pjthompson.livejournal.com]

See, this is essentially my problem, too. I can see many sides of this situation and I couldn't make up my mind. If it's not clicking for me, then I probably need to revise again. This element is better than the one I had there before, but that ain't saying much. That one was totally ridiculous.

And so I keep bouncing back and forth.

[marshallpayne1.livejournal.com]

This sounds like a good set-up, Pam! It depends on how you handle it. As to all those questions, I'd have the MC agonize over them to increase the tension. What would really work well is a plot twist that comes out of the blue. Something no one suspects.

One thing that stuck out to me was: "Even though it's only been a few days, you think you might be falling in love." I recently gave up on Charles Stross's fantasy novel The Family Trade,, finding it rather clumsy despite all the good reviews. Halfway through the book Miriam (the MC) thinks she's falling in love with a guy she's known for a couple of days. C'mon! I didn't buy that for a minute. Miriam's in her late 20s/early 3os. It was infatuation, not love. I found that very teenage and thought Stross was using it as a plot device. Not saying that applies here, just mentioning it. *g*

[pjthompson.livejournal.com]

That's fair enough. I think (hope) I did a decent enough job of establishing why these two are so drawn to each other, and why they both need love so much, and with a supernatural element thrown in urging them towards it...but yes, that's something I worry about, too.

"It depends on how you handle it..." covers so much. ;-D

[frigg.livejournal.com]

I would dismiss the juvenile transgressions, but still talk to my PB about the "stalking" from the stranger who e-mailed me.

[pjthompson.livejournal.com]

Yes, that's part of this element, how it transitions this couple into a discussion of a much more serious part of PB's past. It all relates to the major conflict, but I have to get them there somehow. I'm not completely convinced this is the way, so my brain is echoing quite a bit in a hollow space.

[buymeaclue.livejournal.com]

Yes, basically this. I would have the conversation. I would be strongly and primarily inclined to trust my own judgment. But I would be a bit more than usually alert, most likely, to said judgment's red-flagging moments and items (if any).

The falling-in-love rapidly thing is one of those things where I think you almost have to be more careful in fiction to justify it than you do in real life, because it has been so thoroughly abused. I think there are certainly ways to do it effectively and well, and there's a whole lotta ground between a basically mature and sensible character thinking, "I think I'm falling in love," and, "This feels like the real deal," and the badly-done versions that have made most of us so gun-shy. So I'm a little surprised by the number of people saying they'd have problems with that element, on account of I'm assuming the former, with which I have no issue at all. But handle with care, etc., as no doubt you already know.

[pjthompson.livejournal.com]

I'm fairly confident that I laid the groundwork for these two pretty well, that the readers will probably be convinced it's the real deal, but as you say, it's something to be careful about. Not to get over-confident on.

I may have to rewrite this scenario several times before it feels right. Got to get it just so.

[stillsostrange.livejournal.com]

If a character is over 21ish, I would look askance on them "falling in love" so soon. I know there are people much older than that who can't tell the difference between limerence and "true love", but I'm not very sympathetic toward them. :P

I would click because I'm nosy like that, but I wouldn't be very sympathetic to anyone trying to trash a 15-year-old's (or then-15) reputation. That's pretty pathetic. I would talk to my SO about it, though, if only to be sure they knew there was a crazy jackass after them.

Now, if it were evidence of them being part of something dangerously illegal (like a badger game), or something violent, or something serious that would likely have long-lasting repercussions, I might be more concerned, but an anonymous website is still not the way to get info like that taken seriously.

[pjthompson.livejournal.com]

Thanks, those are good thoughts. And yes, normally I would not have two mature, usually rational adults falling in love that fast, but there have been some strong supernatural pushes in that direction (Venus). Even so, there is a strong element of limerence here. That they do connect on deeper levels is something they haven't even realized yet. It may turn out to be a fatal flaw in the story, but I don't know if I'll realize that in this draft. I may have to inflict more squirming upon myself first.

And the trashers are pretty scummy, as it happens. So, there's a datapoint I should consider.

[barbara-hambly.livejournal.com]

that would ENTIRELY depend on who these people were as individuals. I don't behave like my characters behave. I have the worst judgement IN THE WORLD about the opposite sex. There are so many subliminal cues: I'd believe something one person said, and not believe someone else, based on... I don't know what. So actually, i'd need to know a lot more about the situation, and who these people are, before I could even hazard a guess.

[pjthompson.livejournal.com]

Thank you! It is like drinking Pop Psychology in a can. It All Depends is probably the best answer—how I pull it off in the story.

[eclectic-writer.livejournal.com]

For me, I'd click the website (after Googling that it's safe) because I'd need to know. If it was something truly disturbing (teenage sex, for me, is minor) I'd actually do real homework on the situation, try to find outside proof then show THAT evidence to him when I confronted him about it.

As for the trust issues, frankly if we've only been going out for a few weeks I'd KNOW there's a lot about him that I didn't know. It wouldn't be a breach of trust for him not to have revealed it, especially if it happened when he was 15. If, however, after uncovering evidence of my own, asking him about it and him denying it (with him not knowing what other info I had), then yes that would break everything off. But I'm not going to believe willynilly something I was sent anonymously online unless *I* can back it up.

[pjthompson.livejournal.com]

Thanks. I'm going to have to rewrite this again, I think. Come in at a more oblique angle. See what I get on the third or fourth try.

[bogwitch64.livejournal.com]

For both scenarios, I have the same answer--it all depends upon your protagonist. Is he/she the kind to do this, that, or the other thing. ANY of those reactions are feasible, given the right character.

[pjthompson.livejournal.com]

Maybe the answer is for me to have a conversation (or poll) with THEM. :-D But srsly, maybe I should.

[bogwitch64.livejournal.com]

Yes, you should! A friend of mine SWEARS by the character interview. Works for her every time.

[pjthompson.livejournal.com]

I don't usually have to do things like that, but in this case, it might be helpful.

[nycshelly.livejournal.com]

For part 1, I'd do a combination of checking out the site (but probably on a library computer in case it's got a virus ;) ), and I'd also casually ask PB about it to see if he'd be honest about it.

[pjthompson.livejournal.com]

I actually had the MC checking on PB's computer. Very bad form :-) Clearly, these two need to talk.

[teadog1425.livejournal.com]

FWIW, it's interesting because for me #1 works better in a paranormal romance context, where being contacted out of the blue by a mysterious stranger to warn that All is Not as it Seems about the seemingly-perfect significant other makes genre sense, and would presumably be followed by discovering that Mr Seemingly-Perfect was in fact a werewolf/vampire/zombie etc... In this context, the fact that there is a risk for physical harm against the protagonist if she remains clueless, makes this plot arc work better for me...

Re #2 - the significant other would have had to have done something extremely major for me to still count it against them now - eg a child-killing, rape, etc. Otherwise I would find it difficult to believe that a protag would still hold teenage-indiscretions against an adult SO. I can understand the trust element being an issue, but only if SO had flat-out lied about having this past, NOT if they hadn't deliberately brought it up in conversation - which I wouldn't feel was necessary that early in the relationship. Not sure if that helps! ;-)

[pjthompson.livejournal.com]

Yes, very helpful. And your point about PR in #1 is very true.

[mnfaure.livejournal.com]

I tried to answer as if I didn't know the characters being referenced, but it was hard. :( I was influenced, I'll admit, by wanting the two characters in question to be able to put rough patches behind them...

[pjthompson.livejournal.com]

That other scenario, the one you read, wasn't cutting it. I knew that when I wrote it but couldn't think of something better and all my betas rightfully called me on it. So I went back to a scenario I'd originally planned but I wasn't completely sure about this one, either. I think M's original extreme reaction doesn't work so I'm currently redrafting the whole scene and adding new material. Chaos comes into play earlier and that's a good thing I think because it gets us back to the larger conflict sooner.

[mnfaure.livejournal.com]

Sounds like you are making good and interesting progress. :D

[pjthompson.livejournal.com]

I hope so. I took a few days off to let that scene percolate and am going to try to get back to it today.

[kmkibble75.livejournal.com]

Part I: I'd click the link, but view it with cautious pessimism since I don't knwo who the sender is or what their motives are.

Part II: I probably wouldn't confront them about it directly, but I'd definitely be a little wary around them and would always keep it in the back of my mind until they proved it was all in the past. I might, over time, gently brush up against the subject, but hopefully would avoid a way that would make them defensive and dismissive about it.

[pjthompson.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I'm letting all these things percolate for a few days and hope the backbrain processes and comes up with something. I think I'm at least halfway there.