Updatery

[pjthompson]

1. I finally got around to watching the taped season finale of Castle and the fourth season premiere. This is what I hate about episodic TV and why I stopped watching it: every season, no matter how dramatic or world-changing the finale, by the end of the premiere episode everything has been reset to square one. There’s no regard for character growth, the hard left turns in the script give you whiplash, but everything goes back to the way things have always been. Even on Castle, which is a better written show than most episodic TV. Yeah, there are hints that things will continue in a slightly altered vein, but the premiere really had to do some unlikely contortions to achieve their reset.

2. We’ve got summer weather this October, as often happens in L.A. in October. I wore short sleeves today, forgetting the fall/stress rash on my forearm which is now on display for all to see. Oh well. It had mostly simmered down so it isn’t too humiliating. Driving back from taking Mom to the clinic, everything was sunny and bright until I got to Santa Monica. Then the fog seeped down the highway and I wished that I’d brought my sweater.

3. Driving to the clinic, my mother and I discussed the weird perception of waking up and not knowing where you are, thinking maybe you’re in some place you lived in two or three moves ago, or whatever. These days that sensation has gone a step further for Mom: she wakes up and although she knows where everything is and everything looks the same, the neighborhood is familiar, she feels as if the house isn’t where it’s supposed to be. Somehow it’s moved, she knows not where. I said, “Maybe we’ve slipped into an alternate reality and you’re the only one who realizes it.” She laughed. “Maybe so.”

4. I sometimes have moments of hope these days—and that scares me. So much is beyond my control. I can concentrate only on the here and now. I have to let go of the rest. Whenever I get caught up in anger or frustration or trying to will my will in situations where my will has no effect, I tell myself, “You haven’t got time for this. Let it go. Save your energy for fights you can win.” This is a very difficult lesson to learn, not just for me, but it’s one the Universe has been trying to teach me for many long years: live this moment, and this moment, and this moment, and this . . .

5. My creative life is stretching taut over my bones, but it’s swimming in my blood. I thought it was dead for a time, but it isn’t dead. It is not dead.

Mirrored from Better Than Dead.

Comments

[bogwitch64.livejournal.com]

the Universe has been trying to teach me for many long years: live this moment, and this moment, and this moment, and this . . .

Yes, this. This, this, this.

but it isn’t dead. It is not dead.
I am so very glad to hear this. Read it...

[pjthompson.livejournal.com]

That creativity has been the one constant my whole life long. It's gotten misplaced now and then, but so far it has never gone away completely.

[darkspires.livejournal.com]

I know exactly what you mean. There is a huge urge to make things right and put things back to where they were before, but it isn't possible. This is hard to live through.

Great to hear your creativity is still holding on. There are stories I need to finish and you left me hanging. I would love to take up where I left off one day.

[pjthompson.livejournal.com]

I would love to take up where I left off one day.

So would I! And one day, I (we) may. :-)

[asakiyume.livejournal.com]

I am so grateful to you for saying to your mom that maybe we've slipped into an alternate reality and she's the only one who knows.

Because, you know, maybe that's true.

And if not, then maybe this is true: maybe that strange disorientation that people get has some meaning or purpose that we don't know about, and isn't just a freaky side effect of strokes and aging.

And even if neither of those are true, it's great to have someone beside you, being imaginative, considering all angles. Your mom is lucky.

[pjthompson.livejournal.com]

Thank you, sweets. I figure, hey, I can't possibly know the mind of the Universe (nor can anyone, despite their claims), so anything's possible. :-) Besides, I'm always writing about things like alternate universes. How do we know that those moments of disorientation aren't caused by the splitting off of one into the other? :-D

[geniusofevil.livejournal.com]

1. I have been so disappointed by this season so far.

[pjthompson.livejournal.com]

I've DVR'd but not watched the eps since the premiere. I'll get around to them eventually.

[kmkibble75.livejournal.com]

1. Yeah, the premiere was a little odd. They didn't even care about the mystery that week; you could tell. Someone at work told me they'd tried to watch it for the first time but had fallen asleep, and for that I was actually glad. It's gotten better since.

4&5 Both of those things sound like good things to me.

[pjthompson.livejournal.com]

For me these days falling asleep while watching something definitely is not a sign of lack of quality. :-) I DVR everything for that reason. I've had to watch some of the Castle episodes twice.