High and inside strangeness

[pjthompson]

So, wow, last night I got to live out an iconic sitcom joke moment. It wasn't nearly as funny as it's made out to be on TV. Because unlike the days of Wally and the Beave, no shamefaced boys were brought by their dad to the front door to offer restitution by working all summer at a newspaper route.

About eight o'clock I hear the distinct sound of glass shattering. Oops, I think, Min must have broken something. This is reinforced by the sound of the roommate's inchoate yelling. I leap to my feet and run into the living room only to see the roommate disappearing through the door to the backyard.

"What did you say?"

"Somebody shot out a window!"

By the time I get to the back door, the roommate is already up a ladder peaking over the six foot wall back there, then down the ladder and disappearing back of the house. "Go into my bedroom!" she commands. "Check out my back window!"

As soon as I pull up the blinds, it becomes evident that someone really must have shot out the window. "Yep, there's a big hole in the window and glass all over everywhere." It's one of those shatter-resistant windows, fortunately, so after making a hole about ten inches in diameter, the window splintered and stayed in place rather than turned into carnage, but that's still a lot of glass. It's sprayed all over the floor, the bed, and every inch of the room.

The roommate comes running in and spots something nestling amongst the clothes piled on the chest in front of the window. "Huh! I just found the bullet."

"What??"

She reaches into the fabric muddle and pulls out a baseball.

I'll spare you the fuming and fussing, the cleanup, but I will add that although it took the roommate only a few minutes, at most, to get out the door and up the ladder to look for the little miscreants, there was not a soul anywhere in sight. I can just imagine the speed with which they hurried to hide, the little bastards.

I will also note that the roommate was watching the Dodger game when this occurred and Manny Ramirez had just come up to bat. Since no Wally and Beave confessions were forthcoming, since Manny does hit the ball really far, and since a lot of grumpy people in Boston liked blaming him for everything including the Apocalypse, we've decided that Manny did it.

The other irony, of courrse, is that Manny got suspended today for using an erectile dysfunction drug that has been banned by baseball. Oh, the ironies pile high, my friends, the ironies pile high.

Comments

[sartorias.livejournal.com]

The irony in that situation (and in all like it) is how a couple of inches of glass turns into 5,897,783,799 metric tons of shards, that one will be sweeping and picking out of one's feet for the next two years.

[pjthompson]

Ain't that the truth? We vacuumed really well, but I suppose we'll be locating some with our feet.

[wldhrsjen3.livejournal.com]

Ack. Sorry about the window, although the irony _is_ amusing - at least from where I sit. :P

[pjthompson]

Oh, it was amusing from where I stood--once we got over the shock.

[kmkibble75.livejournal.com]

Oh oof. That sucks. Keep a hold of the ball, and be sure to toss it around in sight of any kids playing baseball anywhere in your neighborhood. See which ones look guilty or suddenly go home.

Do this often and consistently.

[pjthompson]

Actually, the roommate was in high dudgeon and when she's like that she's a formidable force. You actually convinced the LAPD to send a patrolman out to take a report! He laughed over my Wally and Beave remark and when the roommate explained why we were blaming Manny.

"I don't know how much help we'll be," he said. "We'll fingerprint this, but little kids probably aren't in our database."

"Oh, I know," she said, "but I just had to do something." She was pretty much placated after that, so I appreciate the LAPD "humoring" her.

[kmkibble75.livejournal.com]

Wow... go her!

[pjthompson]

A force of nature, I'm tellin' ya...

[geniusofevil.livejournal.com]

Ha, those damn kids!

[pjthompson]

Yeah. I considered lobbing a few through the windows of the house across the way because I suspect it was the 16-year-old who lives there, but...

[geniusofevil.livejournal.com]

I guess if no one comes over to confess it's probably and older kid.

[pjthompson]

Yeah. The roommate heard them out there playing ball the other night and climbed back up on the ladder. "Somebody hit a baseball through my window and broke it. Was it you?"

"Oh no no no of course not!"

"Well, I just want you to know that the police have the baseball and are dusting it for fingerprints."

He looked shaken up, she thought. But all he said was, "Oh, good." But the game ended and they all went back inside.

[geniusofevil.livejournal.com]

police? fingerprints?

My God, I have to train my kids to be more cynical so that when this happens to them their faces won't trip them up

[pjthompson]

Dude, she really did get the cops to come out and take the ball for fingerprinting! LAPD! They never do that stuff! But the roommate, she is mighty.

However, the cop said, "I doubt this will do any good. It's probably little kids who did it and they aren't usually in our databases."

He was a nice young cop, overall.