The judge of me
Jul. 28th, 2006 10:06 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
pjthompsonQuotes of the day:
"He who cannot give anything away cannot feel anything either."
—Friedrich Neitzsche
"A human being has a natural desire to have more of a good thing than he needs."
—Mark Twain
Writingness of the day: So I'm trying to complete a new Dos Lunas story—yeah, that series of stories I was just talking about, the ones that have yet to generate a sale. But I haven't completed a completely new short story in well over a year, maybe more like two, and I know from past experience that sometimes I've just got to finish something, anything, in order to bust up that kind of creative logjam and move on. This Dos Lunas story probably has the best shot at getting written of any currently in the unfinished pile.
The other thing I'm trying to get past is that little voice of judgment that's been a pox on my house lately. That mini-magistrate is the voice of doom for finishing projects, always negative, and I've learned that if I don't figure out how to shut it up, I can't create. I'm not talking about creative judgment here, that's always got to be part of the process, I'm talking about that mean little fucker who mocks the first draft into incompletion.
It doesn't matter how crappy first drafts are. The first draft is the one where you just put it on the page, try stuff out, get in there and wallow, go over the top if you need to, and the judge and jury should play no part in it—at least not in my process. Because those negative voices generally have more to do with the people who have put me down in my life, tried to keep me in my place, or make me conform to their version of reality. They have to do with negative programming going back to childhood, as they do in most people's lives who share head space with a mini-magistrate.
We never lose those little judgers. That programming is so integral to the fabric of our childhoods that we can't rip them out of our consciousness without ripping out a part of ourselves. If you like the art you do, the life you're currently living, or even—miracle of miracles—the self you currently are, then you have to embrace the whole package. Everything that happened to you, every crappy little voice, as well as the good stuff, contributed to making you who you are, as an artist and a human being. You'd better learn to live with it all because ignoring it just doesn't work. It comes out in ugly ways if you try to hold it down, and it will come back to bite you bigtime on the ass. You'd better develop coping strategies, otherwise the judgers and the crap merchants inside you will make sure you don't accomplish anything at all.
"He who cannot give anything away cannot feel anything either."
—Friedrich Neitzsche
"A human being has a natural desire to have more of a good thing than he needs."
—Mark Twain
Writingness of the day: So I'm trying to complete a new Dos Lunas story—yeah, that series of stories I was just talking about, the ones that have yet to generate a sale. But I haven't completed a completely new short story in well over a year, maybe more like two, and I know from past experience that sometimes I've just got to finish something, anything, in order to bust up that kind of creative logjam and move on. This Dos Lunas story probably has the best shot at getting written of any currently in the unfinished pile.
The other thing I'm trying to get past is that little voice of judgment that's been a pox on my house lately. That mini-magistrate is the voice of doom for finishing projects, always negative, and I've learned that if I don't figure out how to shut it up, I can't create. I'm not talking about creative judgment here, that's always got to be part of the process, I'm talking about that mean little fucker who mocks the first draft into incompletion.
It doesn't matter how crappy first drafts are. The first draft is the one where you just put it on the page, try stuff out, get in there and wallow, go over the top if you need to, and the judge and jury should play no part in it—at least not in my process. Because those negative voices generally have more to do with the people who have put me down in my life, tried to keep me in my place, or make me conform to their version of reality. They have to do with negative programming going back to childhood, as they do in most people's lives who share head space with a mini-magistrate.
We never lose those little judgers. That programming is so integral to the fabric of our childhoods that we can't rip them out of our consciousness without ripping out a part of ourselves. If you like the art you do, the life you're currently living, or even—miracle of miracles—the self you currently are, then you have to embrace the whole package. Everything that happened to you, every crappy little voice, as well as the good stuff, contributed to making you who you are, as an artist and a human being. You'd better learn to live with it all because ignoring it just doesn't work. It comes out in ugly ways if you try to hold it down, and it will come back to bite you bigtime on the ass. You'd better develop coping strategies, otherwise the judgers and the crap merchants inside you will make sure you don't accomplish anything at all.
no subject
Date: 2006-07-28 07:13 pm (UTC)If you can catch that little voice of judgment, drop it into a nice silk lined box and then toss it into a vat of sulfuric acid. ;-)
I understand what you're saying though. We are often the harshest of ourselves and our own writing. Those little gremlins that mock, shred and trash what we write, what we create can be vicious. We're far harder on ourselves than we are on others most of the time. But we have to slog through it. First drafts are just that... first drafts. It's the creative vomit stage. Just try to urp it all out and you can go back later and pick out the nuggets and chunks you wish to keep. I'm sure this is nothing you haven't heard before though.
Good luck, you Hang in there and keep pluggin'...
no subject
Date: 2006-07-28 07:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-07-28 07:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-07-28 10:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-08-02 04:39 am (UTC)