I quit, the addendum

[pjthompson]

This subject is in the air today. It occurred to me in discussions with others (and in the shower) that the one time I had a really long pause in writing, about four or five years, it was because I'd put myself in an all-business footing. I was a Serious Writing Artiste and I needed to think Serious Writing Thoughts and do Serious Work and be Serious About the Business of Writing. I couldn't read a piece of fiction without over-analyzing it, and I stopped reading fiction. I concentrated so hard on my seriousness and what other people expected from me and my writing, that I choked my muse. It got so bad that for the first time in my life since I've had consciousness I stopped telling myself stories as I fell asleep at night.

I felt damned lost, I tell you.

I took up other art forms—sculpture, textile arts, jewelry making, drawing—and although I love all these things, that just didn't fill that cavern inside me. But they did teach me to have fun again. That cold motherf**ker, Seriousness, unwound inside me. I rediscovered my sense of play in the creative process. It took all those four or five years, but I started telling myself stories again as I fell asleep. Then I started reading fiction again. Then I started writing again. Fanfic at first, but very soon after that, I was telling my own stories again.

This should be fun, people. Yes, we need to take the business aspect seriously and be professional, but it needs to be fun, too. Or we really do run the risk of choking that lovely trickster, our muse. And maybe this time, the little s**t won't come back to play again. He's a darling little s**t, but he does run to Temperament.

This is what I keep telling myself, anyway.

Comments

[queenoftheskies.livejournal.com]

Amen.

Great post.

[pjthompson]

Thanks!

[cristalia.livejournal.com]

Yes. Very yes.

I actually do this every year or so. Get so caught up in thinking too much in terms of career that I get stuck stuck stuck, and then someone reminds me about the fun thing and then I can actually make words again. Happens 'bout...this time of year. *g*

Thank you -- great post.

[pjthompson]

Thank you. The summer doldrums. Always a killer.

[jandersoncoats.livejournal.com]

If it's not fun, it comes through on the page.

I quit for two years. Just couldn't bear it. The kid was little, I was strung-out tired, didn't care, couldn't deal.

It does have to come back on its own. Or it just doesn't work.

[pjthompson]

If it's not fun, it comes through on the page.

You know, it really does. It's a "you are what you eat" kind of thing.

[kmkibble75.livejournal.com]

I concur wholeheartedly -- I always cringe with worry when I hear someone talk about writing something more marketable, rather than what they want to write.

[pjthompson]

Yes, when I hear someone trying to change their writing that way--in essence, trying to change who they are--to suit the market I always think it's a kind of death knell. If success comes knocking, it's because you've found a way to tell your own stories in a way that calls out to others, not from following the herd.

[wldhrsjen3.livejournal.com]

This is a great post... I'm currently trying to find my rhythm after writing very sporadically over the last few years. I feel like I need some sort of discipline to keep myself going, otherwise I let all sorts of other priorities suffocate the writing process. And yet, I also know from bitter experience that if I worry too much about being professional and marketable, then my ability to be creative and eloquent suffers. So, I'm hoping to find some sort of happy balance...

I know what it's like to lose the words, and I know the relief of finding them again. Glad to know I'm not the only one who's been through the experience.

[(Anonymous)]

Thanks. One technique that I've employed in the past to help me establish a writing routine is what I call the Golden Hour. That means I set aside one hour every day (or at least five times a week) that is inviolate. That's my hour to write. Even if all I do is stare at the page or doodle and think about the story, do research or background or whatever, that's my Golden Hour that belongs to my creative process and no one else.

It's hard to carve out even an hour sometimes, but I figure everybody deserves at least that much time for themselves in the course of their day.

As to losing words, I don't know a writer who hasn't gone through that. That's part of the process, too.

[pjthompson]

duuuuh. That was me.

[ilona-andrews.livejournal.com]

Nice post

[pjthompson]

Thanks. :-)

[beth-bernobich.livejournal.com]

Yes. Oh yes.

My muse is happier because I recently chose to focus on all projects that are fun to me. (Can you say pirates?)

I do hope to sell them, later, eventually, but right now, I'm thinking of the writing-fun-part and nothing else.

[pjthompson]

Yay, pirates!! And a lot of times when you give yourself permission to play, something truly wonderful comes out of the synergy.

[darkspires.livejournal.com]

Great post. And I get what you mean about editing to please the market as I know someone who is doing this. What was a good story has died and rotted without this person noticing.

IMO, if a story doesn't fit the current market then it can be shelved until the market shifts, as it always does.

And fun has to come into it for me. I won't write unless I am enjoying what is coming out. On the rare times I tried forcing stuff it looked just that, boring and forced. The characters have to live.

[pjthompson]

IMO, if a story doesn't fit the current market then it can be shelved until the market shifts, as it always does.

Yep. You're doing a disservice to yourself and the story. I doubt they sell if edited that way, anyway.

[java-fiend.livejournal.com]

Very well said. You're right, it should be fun and I think many of us forget that. Thanks for reminding us all. And I'm sorry that you're struggling right now.

[pjthompson]

Thanks--but fortunately, I'm not struggling too bad right now.

[java-fiend.livejournal.com]

Well that's a good thing. :-)

[merebrillante.livejournal.com]

Wow. You reached through the ethers, diagnosed my problem, and gave me a prescription for it.

Fun?

... fun.

[pjthompson]

I'm tellin' ya, it's all the zeitgeist is talking about. I'm glad if it helped. :-)

[geniusofevil.livejournal.com]

uh...so did you quit or not? Be careful how you answer, I might lecture you.

[pjthompson]

Oh no anything but that! I quit for maybe four days, but I started working on the WIP in the shower this morning and plan to write on it at lunch, so...

[geniusofevil.livejournal.com]

you're free to go, then

[frigg.livejournal.com]

*nods* The exact same thing happened to me with drawing and painting. After seriously joining Epilogue, the pressure "not to create crap" killed whatever pleasure I had previously got from drawing/painting. I went from being able to do a piece a day to a piece a year (and that was in good years). I'm slowly back into commission work now and I have a few WIPs, but I'm still not able to work the way I was before.

[pjthompson]

Sometimes it takes awhile, but eventually, if you cultivate the play aspect, I bet it does come back. The important part is that you enjoy it.