From the
Simile of the Day Generator: Destiny is like a loaf of bread.
My parse: The more you eat, the less you have.
Or perhaps: Slather it in butter and you won't care.
Maybe: The Universe takes the loaf and leaves us the crumbs?
It's a good thing I don't do this every day or I might go insane(r).
The other thing I'm wondering on this alternately sunny and rainy day is why it is that we're here in December and most of the major cable networks have new "ghost" shows on. October I could see, but December? And SciFi (won't use the ridiculous new name) is running a Ghost Hunters marathon on Christmas Eve. Very festive. Here's the roundup:
FLN
- Haunted Homes - It's hard to decorate when poltergeists are flinging your froufrous, but Martha has tips for decorating and clearing ceremonies. (Plus, she pretty scary herself.)
A&E
- Paranormal State - Do paranormal infestations cause acne, I wonder?
- A Haunting - In which A&E attempts to prove that demons are everywhere. Paranormal State has something of the same vibe.
- Extreme Paranormal - Geeky and fey guys acting all macho with the dead folks.
DSC
- Ghost Lab - Texas is big—and so are its paranormal investigators. Also, loud, bullying, and disrespectful. Disclaimer: I know for a fact all Texans are not like this. Most are good people.
SciFi
- Ghost Hunters, Ghost Hunters International, Ghost Hunters Academy - That's one hell of a franchise.
TLC
- Ghost Intervention - From the producers of Ghost Hunters: how to get rid of the pests that GH proves you have.
BIO
- Celebrity Ghost Stories - Ridiculous, yet kind of creepy. Especially the one David Carradine did three months before he died. It involved a haunted closet and an eerie experience with a tie. I'm absolutely serious.
- Ghostly Encounters - Short, Canadian, and truly eerie.
- Psychic Investigators, Psychic Kids, reruns of Haunted History - Ghosts are a great schedule filler at Bio.
HIS
- Haunted History - Old, moldy, and venerable. Also, Ghosts of Gettysburg, and many another one-short ghost-themed show.
TRV
- Ghost Adventures - This show has replaced Most Haunted on their line-up, which was far and away the most ridiculous show on TV. I'm not sure Ghost Adventures is much better—far too much testosterone going on—but it is a slight improvement.
TruTV (formerly Court TV)
- Haunting Evidence - Because crime is worth exploiting in every possible way.
There are many, many more. I've probably watched all that have been broadcast in the U.S., one eye jaded, the other fascinated. When I'm not laughing outright, that is. It's strange that there should be such a crop of them, proliferating like circles in the fields of England, but people are obviously watching and boosting the ratings or they would not be breeding so. They fill some kind of hunger, but I can't figure out exactly what. For myself or anyone else.
Ghosts are like...where's a simile generator when you need one?