Echoes in a Hollow Space

Random quote of the day:

“I see what happens when one gets very attached to material things. That's just not what my life is. That’s not what I love and that’s not what makes me feel good. What makes me feel good are the simple things in life, like somebody I can really talk to, when I’m not concerned about whether they are going to betray me. My life is rich because I have those kinds of people in my life.”

—Alicia Keys, Ebony, January 2004



Disclaimer: The views expressed in this random quote of the day do not necessarily reflect the views of the poster, her immediate family, Bert and Ernie, Celine Dion, or the Band of the Coldstream Guards. They do, however, sometimes reflect the views of the Cottingley Fairies.

Feb 15
And then there’s my shredded Achilles tendon…People grimace when they see me limping down the hall.

Feb 15
“Seek simplicity and distrust it.” —Alfred North Whitehead said. Simplicity is sounding real good right about now. Mom’s escalating pain issues have led to a rush MRI this afternoon, maybe a bone scan.

Feb 15
New favorite indie bookstore name: Libros Schmibros

Feb 16
Back in the ER with Mom. I think I’ll start bonking my head now.

Feb 16
They admitted her. Not life threatening, I don’t think.

Feb 17
Is life anything more than a series of disappointed hopes?

Feb 17
I turn on the TV to distract myself and the first thing I hear is Sally Kirkland saying, “She died at 97.” The opening to Paper Hearts.



Feb 18
Medicare not seizing our asset vibes would be nice, too. I’d rather not be homeless.

(Note: I got this wrong. It’s MediCal/Medicaid that seizes your assets.)

Feb 19
Mom is going back to the rehab today, perhaps permanently. They finally found that her terrible pain is from severe spinal stenosis. They may try to do an epidural nerve block if nothing else helps. Her spirit is good, her fighting spirit undiminished, so we’ll see how things go.

Feb 21
I’ve been sitting here all afternoon saying “Oh my God” over and over to myself. Rollercoasters suck.

(Note: I learned that my house might be protected after all.)

Feb 24
It may be a measure of my worry that I was seriously listening to Joel Osteen this morning. Not any crazier than my previous money making scheme: buying Lotto tickets. Both Lotto and Osteen require unfettered faith, something I sometimes have in microbursts.

Feb 25
No matter how bad it gets, my life is not as bad as Fantine’s…or millions of other people around the world. Everything is relative.

Feb 28
Heard Jimmy Cliff driving to work so “The harder they come, the harder they fall, one and all” is the theme of the day.

Feb 28
There’s a difference between taking off your shirt while running to show off your manly chestal pulchritude and taking off your shirt while running and having manly chestal pulchritude. We can tell the difference, guys. And not just cynical old broads like me.

Mar 1
I am so tired of grown up stuff.  Can I run away now?

Mar 2
At home nursing a strained back. Life is good.

Mar 2
Why is it in movies and on TV when a scientist sees something unbelievable he removes his glasses? It’s become a total visual cliché.

Mar 3
The strain has progressed to spasms. I’m at urgent care.

Mar 3
Back still very unhappy and so am I. Two muscle relaxers at least make things bearable.

Mar 4
Back doing better but I’m still spending the day with my heating pad and my drugs. What part of driving with a strained back is not good did I not get? Pass more muscle relaxers.

Mar 5
I’m beginning to think the main job requirement for weather “girls” is “Must wear at least a C cup and adore tight clothing.”

I’m definitely watching too much TV since the back injury.

5 Mar
OMG the political phone calls the last week!  Once or twice an hour sometimes on two phones and me a couch prisoner! Just got another an hour before the polls close. Argh! Very hotly contested mayoral campaign.

8 Mar
Since hurting my back and unable to reach the floor without pain I’ve turned into a ham-handed bumbler constantly dropping things on the floor.

11 Mar
*sigh* I’m sitting at my desk at work with a pillow and a heating pad tucked behind my still-spasming back.

12 Mar
My new favorite bumper sticker: “What would Scooby do?”

12 Mar
I don’t want to be a grown up anymore. Can I crawl into a hole instead?

13 Mar
White smoke… Bring on the papas and beer.  Always thought it amusing that in Spanish and Italian pope/potatoes are the same, with only the article differentiating. Las papas de El Papa.

13 Mar
The Queen of Clueless Privilege strikes again: http://bit.ly/WnGOex   Yes, Amy F. Grant and Katie F. Couric are also queens of clueless privilege, but Gwyneth Paltrow is the original Clueless F. Queen.

14 Mar
Mom called twice this morning to check the time of her doctor’s appointment and once for me to tell her how to fold boxes from paper. Both equally important.

15 Mar
They found the violin that Wallace Hartley played as the Titanic sank:  http://yhoo.it/10XBK4u 

15 Mar
Some good news yesterday: Mom is responding so well to therapy she won’t need an epidural and may be coming home soon.

Also, my back is slowly getting unstrained. Driving still remains a painful challenge, but I can sit at my desk with only occasional spasms.

With all the drugs I’ve been taking for the back my Achilles tendon isn’t hurting at all anymore.

Mirrored from Better Than Dead.

Random quote of the day:

 

“Seek simplicity and distrust it.”

—Alfred North Whitehead, The Concept of Nature

 

 

Disclaimer:  The views expressed in this random quote of the day do not necessarily reflect the views of the poster, her immediate family, Siegfried and Roy, Leonard Maltin, or the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. They do, however, sometimes reflect the views of the Cottingley Fairies.

 

Mirrored from Better Than Dead.

Random quote of the day:


"Simplicity is the ulitmate sophistication."

—attributed to Leonardo da Vinci



( Illustrated version. )

Quote of the day:

"The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak."

—Hans Hofmann


I absolutely agree with this. I periodically try to simplify, but I always forget and wind up re-complicating. It doesn't help that I think too much, always the over-thinker, the sharp knife of thought cutting through everything. All this over-thinking makes me forget to simplify.

I've had big wake up calls in my life: several deaths, a serious and prolonged illness. These things let you know in non-negotiable terms that life is finite and you must do what makes you happy, that simplifying will always make you happier than complicating. But the lessons? They never seem to last with me. The deaths don't get less painful but the sharp blows to your heart space farther apart and the white noise of existence comes in soon enough to obscure the simple message. That illness that took a big chunk out of what should have been the most productive years of my life eventually left me with the feeling that I am perpetually in catch-up mode. I got focused on things like reestablishing my life, coming out of a ten-year emotional coma and feeling I hadn't made any progress. I just wanted to have fun for awhile and got distracted by bright bangles in well-lit rooms. And I forgot to simplify.

I still tell myself to keep it simple, to live in the now, but it's impossible to maintain that for long—not with my personality. I've been free of that illness for some years now, so although I never forget that once there was a time and there could be a time again, I still and still and still forget what's important. Or let it get buried by the unnecessary. I float along in a dream, touch down now and then when someone grabs my toe and pulls hard, but I'm off again at the first loosening of vigilance, floating. All this dreaming makes me forget.

And I can't help wanting things that are not good for me. All this wanting leads to complications which lead to me forgetting.

Or maybe I don't want to remember. Maybe I like the gauze of dreams as a colored screen over everything, except when cut through with the sharp knife of overthought, or clenched-up with wanting. If I could learn to hover somewhere in the middle maybe I'd remember to keep it simple.

But as a friend of mine said this morning when I shared that Hofmann quote with him, "Whatever in life is ever, truly simple?"

I don't know. Like all matters of existence, it's a complicated issue.