pjthompson: (musings)
2019-09-14 01:07 pm

Musings

Kamala Harris was right in the Democratic debate to bring everything back to Trump each time. He's the real enemy here. There were Democrats on that stage who I like better than others but any one of them would be a better president than Donald Trump. But I think I've watched my last debate. I'm sure my Twitter timeline will be relieved, as I couldn’t stop live tweeting. I've watched all the debates so far and my opinion hasn't changed much. I have certain people I'd be quite unhappy to vote for but several of the remaining candidates I'd vote for happily. #AnyDem

An interesting side note: I’ve said uncomplimentary things about several of the candidates but the only time trolls have come after me is when I’ve said uncomplimentary things about Tulsi Gabbard. I am not the only one who has had this experience. And I am such small potatoes on Twitter. They must be very well organized. Good thing I don't respond to trolls. It's no fun for them if you don't engage and they stop playing.

Russian bot, Russian bot
Fly away home—
Your pants are on fire
And you're all Putin owned.
*
Yes, there are many tragedies in the world we need to pay attention to, but that doesn't mean we can't take a day to remember the murder of nearly 3000 innocent souls. Politicizing that is pretty reprehensible, no matter which side of the debate it comes from. Especially since 9/11 is an ongoing tragedy. People are still dying as a consequence of what happened that day. In honoring the fallen of 9/11 we are also honoring those who still struggle with illness and death because of it.
*
Every act of artistic creation is also an offering to the Universe.
*
Dear Everybody Who Needs Money From Me: I'd love to donate to your project/cause/campaign but I'm on a fixed income. Doesn't mean I won't donate when I can but if I donate to one thing I probably won't be able to give to another thing that same month. My sincere best wishes to you.
*
Even at my advanced age I can still sing all the lyrics of every Beatles song. You never forget the things you memorized in your youth. Unfortunately, this is also true of every commercial jingle I heard when I was young.
*
Whenever I'm doing a piece of art and I say to myself, "I'll just eyeball it," every time I hear Louis Gossett Jr. saying, "Don't be eyeballin' me, boy." Every. Fricking. Time.
*
I was reading about the psychological theory of behaviorism one afternoon, but each time the notifications rang on my phone I picked it up to look. The irony of this was not lost on me.
*
I hit the wall of character motivation on the novel and had a painful slog trying to get through it. I wasn’t believing this character's reason for acting as he does so I couldn’t expect anyone else would. I did a partial re-read and reorganization to see if that would shake anything loose and after some reworking I came unstuck—at least for that particular problem. I'm not sure that part of the novel works, but it works for now, and I'm moving forward.

But not quickly. I pushed through a major hump a few days ago so at least that section of the story is finished. I’m past the 90k mark and closing in on the end of the book, but I still have a ways to go. I’ve never worked well from outlines. They usually kill an idea dead for me. Part of the problem with the current novel is that I know everything that happens until the end rather than making it up as I go along and that’s turned it into a real slog. However, I feel I have to finish this one, not only because I’ve come so far, but for the sake of my own spirit. I need to finish a substantial piece of work. To prove something to myself, I guess. That I’m still a writer?

I look forward to typing The End and putting this one in the trunk for a while and moving on to something else. It’s not my best work. Most writers I know feel that way at the conclusion of a novel, but in this case I may be write. Er, right.

Until I reread it many months hence, of course, and temporarily suffer from the “this is the best thing I’ve ever done” delusion.
*
Euphomet, Jim Perry’s high strangeness podcast, has become my very favoritest. There are many fine podcasts out there, but I love Jim's sensibility and his openly inquisitive tone. Check it out here.
pjthompson: (Default)
2018-02-25 02:13 pm

Prophecy

I’m not such a believer in prophecy. I give credence to premonitions because I’ve had experience with them, but grand prophecies always seem a stretch to me. Still, sometimes you can read the currents running through a society; sometimes the zeitgeist speaks clearly.

But when I was cleaning out some old files this morning, I came across this old post, “The Beauty of Moonlight,” written not long after George W. Bush launched his war against Saddam Hussein. I was not a supporter of this war. I thought it built on very shaky ground, and that it was mostly launched for two reasons: 1) because Bush wanted revenge against Saddam Hussein trying to kill his father, and 2) because the Bush Administration wanted to seem to be doing something in response to 9/11. I think the attack against the Taliban and Osama bin Laden in Afghanistan was a direct response to that attack, but Bin Laden eluded capture and the dogs of war were baying for more and more visible and easy to hit targets. And so we launched an illicit war.

Make no mistake about it: Saddam Hussein was an evil mofo. But there are many such evil rulers across the globe which many U.S. administrations have turned a blind eye to. The attack against Iraq wasn’t about that at all, and I believe the U.S. sold a piece of its soul when we launched it. I will forever honor the men and women who fought in that war, but their honorable service was done at the behest of deceivers.

But prophecy…The first part of the post referenced above is about 9/11, the second half about the karmic debt we might have to pay as a nation for our actions in Iraq. I won’t restate it here because if you’re interested you can read that post.

The purpose of this post is to say that . . . we may currently be paying that debt. Our democracy, our “sacred” institutions are under attack in a way they have never been before. We’ve elected a Fascist and the Republican party is goose-stepping along in sync with his attack on the rule of law; hate groups are rising at an alarming rate. The good news is that we have good children who seem willing to take up the activism necessary to fight this evil, but we still have a long way to go before we can clean this mess up. And let’s be real–things will never be the same again. Once those dogs of hatred are loosed in any society they only want more chaos. It will be a long, hard fight to defeat them.

If we can.

I believe in our children. I still believe in the Constitution, the Bill of Rights, and the American rule of law that once before brought down a crooked president. I was never more proud of this country than I was in the aftermath of Watergate because it proved that no American was above the law, even a president.

But I have no prophecy or premonitions to offer here. I only have hope that it’s still true.

pjthompson: (lilith)
2018-02-25 01:22 pm

Prophecy

I’m not such a believer in prophecy. I give credence to premonitions because I’ve had experience with them, but grand prophecies always seem a stretch to me. Still, sometimes you can read the currents running through a society; sometimes the zeitgeist speaks clearly.

But when I was cleaning out some old files this morning, I came across this old post, “The Beauty of Moonlight,” written not long after George W. Bush launched his war against Saddam Hussein. I was not a supporter of this war. I thought it built on very shaky ground, and that it was mostly launched for two reasons: 1) because Bush wanted revenge against Saddam Hussein trying to kill his father, and 2) because the Bush Administration wanted to seem to be doing something in response to 9/11. I think the attack against the Taliban and Osama bin Laden in Afghanistan was a direct response to that attack, but Bin Laden eluded capture and the dogs of war were baying for more and more visible and easy to hit targets. And so we launched an illicit war.

Make no mistake about it: Saddam Hussein was an evil mofo. But there are many such evil rulers across the globe which many U.S. administrations have turned a blind eye to. The attack against Iraq wasn’t about that at all, and I believe the U.S. sold a piece of its soul when we launched it. I will forever honor the men and women who fought in that war, but their honorable service was done at the behest of deceivers.

But prophecy…The first part of the post referenced above is about 9/11, the second half about the karmic debt we might have to pay as a nation for our actions in Iraq. I won’t restate it here because if you’re interested you can read that post.

The purpose of this post is to say that . . . we may currently be paying that debt. Our democracy, our “sacred” institutions are under attack in a way they have never been before. We’ve elected a Fascist and the Republican party is goose-stepping along in sync with his attack on the rule of law; hate groups are rising at an alarming rate. The good news is that we have good children who seem willing to take up the activism necessary to fight this evil, but we still have a long way to go before we can clean this mess up. And let’s be real–things will never be the same again. Once those dogs of hatred are loosed in any society they only want more chaos. It will be a long, hard fight to defeat them.

If we can.

I believe in our children. I still believe in the Constitution, the Bill of Rights, and the American rule of law that once before brought down a crooked president. I was never more proud of this country than I was in the aftermath of Watergate because it proved that no American was above the law, even a president.

But I have no prophecy or premonitions to offer here. I only have hope that it’s still true.

Mirrored from Better Than Dead.

pjthompson: (all-seeing)
2016-01-23 06:39 pm

Of falling men and hanged men

 

Destruction_of_Leviathan
The Destruction of Leviathan by Gustave Doré

 

“Although we human beings have our own personal life, we are yet in large measure the representatives, the victims and promoters of a collective spirit whose years are counted in centuries. We can well think all our lives long that we are following our own noses, and may never discover that we are, for the most part, supernumeraries on the stage of the world theater. There are factors which, although we do not know them, nevertheless influence our lives, and more so if they are unconscious.”

—Carl Jung, Memories, Dreams, Reflections, tr. Richard and Clara Winston

There are two images for this post, besides the one above, both at the end of this post. One is called the falling man, a photograph by Richard Drew, the other is called the hanged man. I was reluctant to use them because even now some people don’t like looking at images from 9/11, and ones of those images caused some controversy when first published. There’s nothing gory about it, but it does represent the last moments of a man’s life. Some feel that’s a private moment and should never be seen. I don’t discount their feelings, but I also believe it’s something more: a testament to the horrors of that day, of terrible decisions forced on ordinary people, of their courage and grace in making those choices, no matter how desperate.

All I know is that the first time I saw the image of the falling man it resonated inside me like a struck bell—beautiful, horrible, incomprehensible. Yet deeply known. In the amazing and moving documentary, 9/11: The Falling Man, made about this picture, it’s revealed that the editors of The New York Times had a series of pictures in this sequence to choose from, but found this one most compelling. I don’t think that’s a coincidence.

Of course, there’s a personal horror of recognition here. One morning you go to work and something unthinkable happens to rip everything away. This picture represents the ultimate “there but for the grace of God go I” moment. But that’s not what my deeper cord of recognition was about. This man’s death was not a symbol, but there was a potent symbol in that sky. It took me a couple of days to understand it. An image from tarot came to me: the hanged man. Not in the sense of portents in the sky or any other such bull, not to minimize the power of the falling man by reducing the image to a formula. The image is its ownself, vast and powerful, but there’s also this other thing falling beside it: archetypes working themselves through the real world and through our psyches.

This phrase about the hanging man card from aeclectic.net in particular struck me: “It is as if he’s hanging between the mundane world and the spiritual world, able to see both. It is a dazzling moment, dreamlike yet crystal clear. Connections he never understood before are made, mysteries are revealed.”

Not him, you understand, but us…suspended between life and death, the sacrifice to gain knowledge, a time of trial or meditation, the moment of clarity, of not being able to see things the same again. It’s not just this man’s life, and the ending of it, but that moment of suspension and terrible clarity for the United States and the world.

That subconscious strata of images and ideas is always at play inside each of us. I’m not in any way saying those archetypes are the only reason we respond so powerfully to the image of the falling man, but I do believe they are part of the mix. Whether or not you have ever seen a tarot deck, or this particular tarot deck, this image doesn’t exist in a vacuum. It appeared in the tarot because it was part of our culture’s archetypal and intuitive heritage. Perhaps it’s an image that would resonate only in Western culture—I don’t know enough to say otherwise—but it is part of the unconscious lives of everyone who has ever lived in the West for any length of time.

And what does it ultimately say about 9/11? Maybe that archetypes are cultural snapshots—or roadmaps—of the great moments in human existence, both specific and nonspecific, grandly sweeping and intimately personal.

Each of us is composed of both conscious and unconscious associations. We need to examine ourselves closely before leaping on any bandwagon or cause or demagoguery, committing ourselves to actions and movements that rob us of our individual and essential humanity and turn us into impulsive mobs, spurred to commit atrocities in the name of some deep, unthinking leviathan swimming just beneath the waters of consciousness.

 Read more... )
pjthompson: (Default)
2007-12-20 10:41 am

The windshield and the rock

I was listening this morning to an interview with Tom Hanks and Mike Nicholls on their new black comedy, Charlie Wilson's War, which is based on real events. Charlie Wilson was a Texas congressman who in the 1980s finagled and maneuvered funding to support the mujahideen in their war against the Soviets in Afghanistan—with the help of a CIA operative, a socialite, and the "most famous belly dancer in Houston." What I found particularly fascinating was the notion of how many unanticipated consequences sprang from that action. Nicholls and Hanks said was the point of their movie, how we never know what the consequences of any of our actions will be. Two of the biggest from Charlie Wilson's war: the end of the Cold War and 9/11.

You see, the Soviets were so weakened by their defeat in Afghanistan that it bankrupted them. They could no longer hold their conquered and fractured states together, so the Soviet Union broke apart, and their client states in Eastern Europe, left to their own devices, said to hell with you and went their own way, too. This has led to so many ripples in this world, most arguably good, I think, but some very bad, very bad indeed—and none of them truly anticipated.

And 9/11? Well, of course, the guy leading the mujahideen in Afghanistan was Osama bin Laden. He took Charlie Wilson's money so he could beat the Soviets, all the while hating us and hoping for the day when he could do the same to the West. I can't think of much good that came of 9/11. Maybe your perspective is different from mine.

I found myself wondering: if we had an accurate crystal ball and could have prevented 9/11 by keeping the millions of people in the Eastern Bloc under Soviet repression and domination, by continuing the dirty, covert Cold War that affected millions of more lives around the globe, should we—could we, would we—have done it? Three thousand lives precious to their friends and family. Millions of lives precious to their friends and family. There aren't any easy answers. And what unanticipated consequences would come of those actions?

I found myself thinking: you never know how the glass is going to splinter until the rock hits the windshield. The flaws inherent in the glass are invisible to the eye until the rock is thrown. Every moment of our lives, every decision, is a rock hitting a windshield with impact patterns splintering in all directions. We can't refuse to make decisions, because our refusal to decide also has unanticipated consequences.

Much hilarity has been made of Bush declaring himself to be The Decider. But you know what? We're all The Deciders. We just don't see such a clear-cut consequence of most of our decisions. Reality is a consensus web made up of all our attitudes and decisions. The answer is not to hide in a black hole and refuse to participate. It seems to me the answer is to act mindfully, and try to remember that everything matters.

Everything.
pjthompson: (Default)
2006-09-13 03:24 pm

Of pipsqueaks and fearing fear itself

Quote of the day:

"Fear is a question. What are you afraid of and why? Our fears are a treasure house of self knowledge if we explore them."

—Marilyn French


I'm sure most of you have seen this video by now, but on the off chance that you haven't seen Keith Olberman's response to Bush politicizing of 9/11, here it is. It's long, but it is so worth it.


ETA: If you're looking for this on YouTube, it's under Keith Oberman, not Keith Olberman.
pjthompson: (Default)
2006-09-11 10:58 am
Entry tags:

Apologies

It wasn't a good idea trying to post a puckish Monday Poll on the anniversary of 9/11, I guess. My sincere apologies if I offended anyone. It wasn't just a case of massive insensitivity. I thought some people might like a refuge from the heaviness. I know I do. But I'm not disrespectful of the tragedy--I've just inundated myself with it for the last few weeks, felt what I felt before, plus a lot of new anger. I have no words left for any of it, and for the tragedies that have resulted from 9/11 around the world.

But I was wrong. And I am sorry.

ETA: Some have been offended, some have not and so I've reopened the stupid poll and leave it up to anyone reading this to decide which it is...My apology still stands to those who felt offense.
pjthompson: (Default)
2004-09-11 04:59 pm

The Beauty of Moonlight

"To correct a natural indifference I was placed halfway between misery and the sun. Misery kept me from believing that all was well under the sun, and the sun taught me that history wasn't everything."

—Albert Camus, De L'Envers et l'endroit


I have no personal trauma from September 11—it didn't happen directly to me. I just have West Coast remembrances and watching it all on TV, frantically calling back east to check on friends in NYC and DC, as many others did.

It took me two days to find out about one friend who worked at the Pentagon. He was at ground zero, and had the narrowest of narrow escapes. His entire floor was wiped out by the plane and fireball except for that one tiny corner where he and his colleagues worked. The ceiling came down on them, but there was a zone of survival and they were able to crawl out of a broken window in time to save themselves. Everyone else around them died, but he escaped with nothing more serious than bruises and cuts.

Again, I experienced this all at a remove. I saw him two weeks later and he was like a man going through the motions, it seemed to me—keeping it all together, but not taking in the world around him much. Or not letting it in. When asked, he said as much, that he was still rather numb. The reaction came later. And a year and a month later, his son was born. When I got the pictures, I wept, thinking that a few feet made the difference between that child being born and never existing; thinking of all the other children who were left orphaned or never got born.

Camus is right: history isn't everything. It's only the individual stories that matter—and the bulk of them never get told in a public way. For the most part it's only the guys who run the show, the swinging dicks, who make it into the history books.


"In the bigger scheme of things the universe is not asking us to do something, the universe is asking us to be something. And that's a whole different thing."

—Lucille Clifton


The other thing I've been thinking a lot about on this anniversary is the threefold law: whatever we do for good or evil will come back to us threefold. I think this applies to nations and groups as well as individuals. There are evildoers I would be thrilled to see punished, but I shudder to think what price my nation may be asked to pay for the injustices we have committed in the name of retribution; of justifying a war built on pretext and lies. The United States is not the only victim here, and acting out of vengeance rather than from justice always begets more violence and injustice.

The minute this country stopped being an example of freedom and justice in the world, we lost the so-called war on terrorism. The swinging dicks hijacked my country. I have no doubt others will disagreement strongly with this, probably even my friend who survived the Pentagon crash.

And if it had been my child, my husband, my beloved who had been killed on 9/11 would I feel differently? I can't possibly say. Maybe. Perhaps the need to hit somebody—anybody—would trump the belief systems of a lifetime. I can't honestly say. I don't think anyone can honestly say what they would do in that situation. We like to think we know how we would behave in every situation, but in my experience, experience often trumps beliefs—and most of us really don't know ourselves as well as we think we do. Grief can twist you in ways you can't even anticipate.

Questions are the best friends we have in times of crisis, but impulse usually becomes our new best chum. And for a month after 9/11 I wanted to hit someone and hit them hard. But I wanted to hit the right someone, not some guy who was easy to hate and made a convenient target to distract us; some guy that some swinging dick wanted to hit to settle old scores. Osama bin Laden and his henchmen, the ones who indisputably did this to us, are still out there and issuing attack decrees.


"If someone were to weigh the beauty of moonlight against the depth of human cruelty, which would win?"

—Alice Hoffman, The River King



The moonlight, I think. The beauty of moonlight is always there, even in the cruelest places, but often we lack the eyes to see it. Nature always has the last word, so unless nature's design includes the moon falling out of the sky, moonlight will be there even after humans have destroyed themselves with cruelty. And who knows what other species will evolve on the planet to appreciate it? Who knows but what they don't already?



"In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer."

—Albert Camus


Back to Camus again because deep down I'm an optimistic creature. I can't live long amongst dystopic visions of the future. We are in dark times. They may grow quite a bit darker. But things change. Times change. We change, and we can make change happen. The spring always follows the winter and leads into the glory of summer.
pjthompson: (Default)
2004-07-11 01:46 pm

Tin Horn Dictators

Mood: ranty
Music: "Beyond the Invisible" by Enigma

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself," said Franklin D. Roosevelt.

One other thing we should probably fear is complacency. Our own. The nation's. Accepting the will of Our Glorious Leaders that they know better for us.

I was innocently logging on to yahoo this morning when I see the news headline, "U.S. Mulling How to Delay Nov. Vote in Case of Attack." I went on to read the article, detailing how Tom Ridge, Homeland Security Head, is trying to get Congress to pass a bill that will allow the federal government to suspend federal elections any time they feel there is a threat:

[broken link]

I suddenly flashed on all those tin horn dictators in various parts of the world who always make it a habit of declaring martial law and suspending national elections just before declaring themselves President For Life.

After I read this article I read an account from the Houston Chronicle of a writer who'd scribbled a piece of dialogue in the margin of a crossword puzzle he was working on a plane, "I know this must be some kind of bomb":

http://www.chron.com/cs/CDA/ssistory.mpl/editorial/outlook/2660471

A panicky passenger reported him to the stewardess and when they landed he was hauled into the local Homeland Security Office and questioned hostilely by several federal and local police. Even when he showed them the novel in question on his laptop he was made to tell them the entire plot of the novel and told he was going to be placed on the Homeland Security watch list.

Excuse me???? Placed on the watch list, guaranteed hasslement at every airport he goes to from now on, because he scribbled a piece of dialogue in the margin of a crossword puzzle, even after he proved it was part of a novel???

Something deeply scary is happening here. And it isn't Al Qaida. The bigger threat to our liberty and way of life are the folks currently in the White House. Ultra-conservatives are always going on and on about how much they love this country and what it stands for. Well, what exactly is it that they love if not the Bill of Rights and the Constitution? Those documents are the corner stones of all those liberties we complacently take for granted, but Mr. Bush and his cronies routinely trample all the hell over those.

Al Qaida wants to destroy America, and this is the surest route to that end: make us so afraid that we destroy ourselves and all the things we stand for. Listen to the voices of people around the world. They will tell you that they didn't always approve of what America did, but they respected our rule of law. They looked to us as an example of what could exist in this world—a country in which no one man was above the law. They were fully cognizant of the injustices that existed here, that the rule of law sometimes ground slowly and inefficiently, and that sometimes horrible miscarriages occurred. But even our enemies had to acknowledge that we got it right a lot of the time, and that even if injustices occurred we had mechanisms in place that allowed us, sometimes, to right those wrongs.

That's what Al Qaida hates. That's what Osama and his crew want to destroy. Because as long as any kind of hope exists that men can do better in this world, it makes it much more difficult for them to become tin horn dictators in their own right. As long as hearts and minds have some kind of counter-example, tin horn dictators have a much harder time of selling their line, "My way is the only way."

But this administration has played right into their hands. Their abuses have crushed hope and erased those counter-examples in the minds of people all around the world. They have played on the fears of the American people and made us small and weak, cowering under the covers in the dark. They have tried to make us believe that their way is the only way.

They want the ability to suspend elections. If that doesn't put the fear in people, I don't know what will. Perhaps the Bush Administration truly believes what they're saying, that if Al Qaida launches an attack during the election it will seriously disrupt our country's democratic process. Or perhaps the Bush Administration believes that a terrorist attack just before or on election day could have the result that it did in Spain, of throwing them out of office in a landslide.

Personally, I think it's just as likely to have the opposite effect, that people will vote with their fear. A terrorist act just before the election could easily swing people to vote for Bush in a landslide. We need to keep our Strong and Glorious Leader at the helm in times of crisis.

We are prone to manipulation whatever way you decide to slice the cake.

But I've come to believe that this administration is as seriously paranoid about Us, their legal opposition, as we are about Them. I think they'll do just about anything to stay in office as long as they can keep at least the illusion of legality. They can't persuade the Supreme Court to put them into office again, that would be too obvious, so what about...

Because George Bush, after all, believes that he received a mandate. Not from the electorate, but from God. He believes he is pope-like in his channel to God, doing God's will, guided by God's hand, damned near infallible. If something whispers in his ear that suspending the elections would be in the best interests of the country because the country is confused and doesn't have as strong a pipeline to God as he does, what's to stop him? If Tom Ridge gets his way, that is, and gets the Republican-controlled Congress to pass that handy little bill which allows the feds to do it.