pjthompson: (Default)
Elephant in the room of the day: Of course, it's impossible to ignore the bombings in London—I wouldn't want to, anyway. I love London, love the English countryside, love the Brits. I'm so sorry they've taken this hit, especially over misplaced fanaticism and the rebellious adolescent attitude of, "If I can't join the party, I'm going to destroy it."

And, of course, it's inevitable the U.S. will take another hit sometime in the future. I won't change my life or the way I live it in response. It's a grand crap shoot as to who will take the hit and who will not. The only way I can fight back against the adolescent tyranny of fanatics is to live the best possible life I can. And that means not limiting my options out of fear; not fighting fanaticism with fanaticism of my own.

On an irrelevant personal note, I know the area of the Kings Cross blast well. I stayed for nearly a week at a hotel near Russell Square some years back, was in and out of Kings Cross, and recognized many of the buildings in the news stories. When they panned in the other direction from the blast, I even saw my hotel. It really brought it home. I have many fond memories associated with that area of London.

Of course it's tragic wherever it occurred. I just had a major deja vu moment when I saw that street.
pjthompson: (Default)
My heart goes out to the people of London and all of Britain.

Tricksy

Jun. 20th, 2005 04:23 pm
pjthompson: (Default)
Surreality of the day: Learning a former boss of mine was targeted for assassination by Al Qaida. He was a jerk, but that seems extreme. I guess that's why they call those Al Qaida fellows extremists.

Exciting news of the day: My friend's husband was asked to be a judge at the Venice Film Festival in September. She gets to go to Italy!

Synchronicity of the day: I talked to my other friend today and she told me she did her annual summer solstice walk Saturday. She and her group walk from Pasadena, over the Santa Monica Mountains, and to the beach at Santa Monica—done every Saturday before the solstice if not the solstice itself. They do this in the spirit of pilgrimage, a way of breaking themselves out of the ordinary and commonplace, in the spirit of commitment. At the precise moment I was walking around Woodlawn taking pictures, she and her group were walking past Woodlawn on their way to the beach. Neither of us knew the other was there.

Things I thought of blogging about today: About how much problem and reluctance I've had lately in getting my chapters started because I've got the "end-of-the-book-but-not-near-enough-to-the-end" sluggishness thing going now.

Why I didn't blog it: Although I felt like I'd have a problem, I had no idea how to start, could feel the resistance building in me to start chapter 23 today...I had no problem starting chapter 23. The first line popped right up and I was off. I wound up writing 1500 words—which is a pretty big daily bump for me. The Muse was being tricksy.

Typo of note: To hit the kind is not nothing.

Cliché du jour: as grim as death

Darling du jour: n/a - Nothing really lit my pipe today.
pjthompson: (Default)
"To correct a natural indifference I was placed halfway between misery and the sun. Misery kept me from believing that all was well under the sun, and the sun taught me that history wasn't everything."

—Albert Camus, De L'Envers et l'endroit


I have no personal trauma from September 11—it didn't happen directly to me. I just have West Coast remembrances and watching it all on TV, frantically calling back east to check on friends in NYC and DC, as many others did.

It took me two days to find out about one friend who worked at the Pentagon. He was at ground zero, and had the narrowest of narrow escapes. His entire floor was wiped out by the plane and fireball except for that one tiny corner where he and his colleagues worked. The ceiling came down on them, but there was a zone of survival and they were able to crawl out of a broken window in time to save themselves. Everyone else around them died, but he escaped with nothing more serious than bruises and cuts.

Again, I experienced this all at a remove. I saw him two weeks later and he was like a man going through the motions, it seemed to me—keeping it all together, but not taking in the world around him much. Or not letting it in. When asked, he said as much, that he was still rather numb. The reaction came later. And a year and a month later, his son was born. When I got the pictures, I wept, thinking that a few feet made the difference between that child being born and never existing; thinking of all the other children who were left orphaned or never got born.

Camus is right: history isn't everything. It's only the individual stories that matter—and the bulk of them never get told in a public way. For the most part it's only the guys who run the show, the swinging dicks, who make it into the history books.


"In the bigger scheme of things the universe is not asking us to do something, the universe is asking us to be something. And that's a whole different thing."

—Lucille Clifton


The other thing I've been thinking a lot about on this anniversary is the threefold law: whatever we do for good or evil will come back to us threefold. I think this applies to nations and groups as well as individuals. There are evildoers I would be thrilled to see punished, but I shudder to think what price my nation may be asked to pay for the injustices we have committed in the name of retribution; of justifying a war built on pretext and lies. The United States is not the only victim here, and acting out of vengeance rather than from justice always begets more violence and injustice.

The minute this country stopped being an example of freedom and justice in the world, we lost the so-called war on terrorism. The swinging dicks hijacked my country. I have no doubt others will disagreement strongly with this, probably even my friend who survived the Pentagon crash.

And if it had been my child, my husband, my beloved who had been killed on 9/11 would I feel differently? I can't possibly say. Maybe. Perhaps the need to hit somebody—anybody—would trump the belief systems of a lifetime. I can't honestly say. I don't think anyone can honestly say what they would do in that situation. We like to think we know how we would behave in every situation, but in my experience, experience often trumps beliefs—and most of us really don't know ourselves as well as we think we do. Grief can twist you in ways you can't even anticipate.

Questions are the best friends we have in times of crisis, but impulse usually becomes our new best chum. And for a month after 9/11 I wanted to hit someone and hit them hard. But I wanted to hit the right someone, not some guy who was easy to hate and made a convenient target to distract us; some guy that some swinging dick wanted to hit to settle old scores. Osama bin Laden and his henchmen, the ones who indisputably did this to us, are still out there and issuing attack decrees.


"If someone were to weigh the beauty of moonlight against the depth of human cruelty, which would win?"

—Alice Hoffman, The River King



The moonlight, I think. The beauty of moonlight is always there, even in the cruelest places, but often we lack the eyes to see it. Nature always has the last word, so unless nature's design includes the moon falling out of the sky, moonlight will be there even after humans have destroyed themselves with cruelty. And who knows what other species will evolve on the planet to appreciate it? Who knows but what they don't already?



"In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer."

—Albert Camus


Back to Camus again because deep down I'm an optimistic creature. I can't live long amongst dystopic visions of the future. We are in dark times. They may grow quite a bit darker. But things change. Times change. We change, and we can make change happen. The spring always follows the winter and leads into the glory of summer.
pjthompson: (Default)
Mood: ranty
Music: "Beyond the Invisible" by Enigma

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself," said Franklin D. Roosevelt.

One other thing we should probably fear is complacency. Our own. The nation's. Accepting the will of Our Glorious Leaders that they know better for us.

I was innocently logging on to yahoo this morning when I see the news headline, "U.S. Mulling How to Delay Nov. Vote in Case of Attack." I went on to read the article, detailing how Tom Ridge, Homeland Security Head, is trying to get Congress to pass a bill that will allow the federal government to suspend federal elections any time they feel there is a threat:

[broken link]

I suddenly flashed on all those tin horn dictators in various parts of the world who always make it a habit of declaring martial law and suspending national elections just before declaring themselves President For Life.

After I read this article I read an account from the Houston Chronicle of a writer who'd scribbled a piece of dialogue in the margin of a crossword puzzle he was working on a plane, "I know this must be some kind of bomb":

http://www.chron.com/cs/CDA/ssistory.mpl/editorial/outlook/2660471

A panicky passenger reported him to the stewardess and when they landed he was hauled into the local Homeland Security Office and questioned hostilely by several federal and local police. Even when he showed them the novel in question on his laptop he was made to tell them the entire plot of the novel and told he was going to be placed on the Homeland Security watch list.

Excuse me???? Placed on the watch list, guaranteed hasslement at every airport he goes to from now on, because he scribbled a piece of dialogue in the margin of a crossword puzzle, even after he proved it was part of a novel???

Something deeply scary is happening here. And it isn't Al Qaida. The bigger threat to our liberty and way of life are the folks currently in the White House. Ultra-conservatives are always going on and on about how much they love this country and what it stands for. Well, what exactly is it that they love if not the Bill of Rights and the Constitution? Those documents are the corner stones of all those liberties we complacently take for granted, but Mr. Bush and his cronies routinely trample all the hell over those.

Al Qaida wants to destroy America, and this is the surest route to that end: make us so afraid that we destroy ourselves and all the things we stand for. Listen to the voices of people around the world. They will tell you that they didn't always approve of what America did, but they respected our rule of law. They looked to us as an example of what could exist in this world—a country in which no one man was above the law. They were fully cognizant of the injustices that existed here, that the rule of law sometimes ground slowly and inefficiently, and that sometimes horrible miscarriages occurred. But even our enemies had to acknowledge that we got it right a lot of the time, and that even if injustices occurred we had mechanisms in place that allowed us, sometimes, to right those wrongs.

That's what Al Qaida hates. That's what Osama and his crew want to destroy. Because as long as any kind of hope exists that men can do better in this world, it makes it much more difficult for them to become tin horn dictators in their own right. As long as hearts and minds have some kind of counter-example, tin horn dictators have a much harder time of selling their line, "My way is the only way."

But this administration has played right into their hands. Their abuses have crushed hope and erased those counter-examples in the minds of people all around the world. They have played on the fears of the American people and made us small and weak, cowering under the covers in the dark. They have tried to make us believe that their way is the only way.

They want the ability to suspend elections. If that doesn't put the fear in people, I don't know what will. Perhaps the Bush Administration truly believes what they're saying, that if Al Qaida launches an attack during the election it will seriously disrupt our country's democratic process. Or perhaps the Bush Administration believes that a terrorist attack just before or on election day could have the result that it did in Spain, of throwing them out of office in a landslide.

Personally, I think it's just as likely to have the opposite effect, that people will vote with their fear. A terrorist act just before the election could easily swing people to vote for Bush in a landslide. We need to keep our Strong and Glorious Leader at the helm in times of crisis.

We are prone to manipulation whatever way you decide to slice the cake.

But I've come to believe that this administration is as seriously paranoid about Us, their legal opposition, as we are about Them. I think they'll do just about anything to stay in office as long as they can keep at least the illusion of legality. They can't persuade the Supreme Court to put them into office again, that would be too obvious, so what about...

Because George Bush, after all, believes that he received a mandate. Not from the electorate, but from God. He believes he is pope-like in his channel to God, doing God's will, guided by God's hand, damned near infallible. If something whispers in his ear that suspending the elections would be in the best interests of the country because the country is confused and doesn't have as strong a pipeline to God as he does, what's to stop him? If Tom Ridge gets his way, that is, and gets the Republican-controlled Congress to pass that handy little bill which allows the feds to do it.

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