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[Poll #1259989]

*Thanks to Thomas Carlyle, Nicholas Hornby, Lawrence G. Lovasik, Samuel Butler, Fyodor Dostoevsky, George Eliot.

Putting out

Aug. 8th, 2007 12:33 pm
pjthompson: (Default)
Heard on the radio of the day:

(1) One of the local public radio stations is having a pledge drive, interspersing bits of NPR amidst flogging the audience for money. The morning flogger is an annoyingly perky woman who doesn't always think too hard about what she's putting out on the air. When they came back from a story about the trapped coal miners in Utah, she'd moderated her perkiness to a somber tone, speaking about the tragedy of those men being trapped and needing rescue. Still in the somber tone, she said, "And we here at Radio Station X are trapped and need rescuing, too..."

(2) During the drive time the other night, to avoid the woman who does the flogging in the evening—a dreadfully serious, lecturing creature—I turned to another public radio station, KUSC, our one classical venue in L.A. It was a blessed moment amidst the rancor of the traffic because they were playing, The Lark Ascending, one of my favorites. Transcendent. I felt so much better as the final ephemeral notes faded off. Rich Caparella, the host, is a man who understands quite well what he's putting out on the air. He has one of those dreamy creamy classical music station voices, always so calm, erudite, and mellifluous. In that dreamy creamy voice, he announced, "That was The Lark Ascending by Ralph Vaughn Williams. An anti-road rage offering. Now that it's over, feel free to go back to driving like complete idiots."

Random quote of the day:

"I don't need time. What I need is a deadline."

—Duke Ellington


This is certainly true about me. It was true in school, and one of the things my employers have always appreciated about me was that I'm good at nailing deadlines. Unfortunately, I'm not so good at nailing self-imposed deadlines. It's as if my psyche is saying, "Her? You don't really have to take her seriously."
pjthompson: (Default)
Mutant from hell of the day: the woman here at work who likes to stir the pot and cause trouble with whoever is handy. (Unless you're male and then she's all flirty.) Not as bad as some work mutants I've known, but still an irritant. Most times I pretend she doesn't exist which vexes her mightily, but late in the day yesterday I succumbed, I'm afraid. She yelled at me for going through some printouts looking for a stray job of mine because I "wrinkled her papers." (I didn't.) Then when I said, "I didn't wrinkle your damned papers," she asked, "Why are you always so rude?" I wish I could say I walked away and didn't continue in this three-year-old vein, but I'm afraid I said, "I'm rude because you're you," before I walked away. Not one of my best zingers, but I want to progress beyond the need for delivering zingers.

*sigh* Why do some people get their rocks off by conflict? Life is short enough as it is. And I don't want to give this incident more importance then it's worth. It was a petty interaction, nothing more. But it brought up some associations from the past that got me thinking.

Because it's times like those where a ghost from my childhood springs up, puts her hands on her hips and starts trash talking. It's a Pavlovian response dredged up from the tough school in the tough neighborhood I grew up in. I like to think I have progressed beyond that little person who could lay schoolyard bullies low with my razor-sharp mouth. But apparently my amygdala has other ideas. I was reading how the amygdala is the center of the brain that takes fear, anxiety, stress and the like, and develops aggressive behaviors in response. Press button A, get response Number Three.

The meat centers of the brain, the pure animal inside the struggling-to-be-civilized human, don't give a fig for karma or grownupness or enlightenment. On the meat level, it's all about an eye for an eye. I guess that explains a lot of the world's heartburn, probably including the behavior of the Mutant from Hell. Her misplaced aggression is clearly something she learned early as a response to something that made her feel small and unimportant. She has succored her mutation in her black little heart with glee ever since.

But there's meat level response and there's meat level response...I still maintain that it's better to regret being a meat puppet than to think it's a valid way of conducting one's life. I guess it's that glee in doing mischief that separates the Mutant from the schoolyard trash talking kid.

Or I could be wrong and rationalizing the hell out of my own behavior.

TGIF.
pjthompson: (Default)
It was sitting on a stool in a sleazy bar near Skid Row, smoking cigarettes, drinking whiskey, with a smart-assed grin on its face.

[broken link]

(Researchers pinpoint brains sarcasm sensor)

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