pjthompson: (bigfoot)
  1. Let me thread you a story… (1-17)
  2. Portalville has been on summer vacation. Yep, that’s right, the whole danged town. We needed a break from our day-to-day reality.
  3. So we hired us a whole mess of buses and drove them through the portal after which Portalville is named.
  4. We came out in another plain of existence, somewhere folks could all agree about things and where no one felt better than anyone else.
  5. Clearly, not any place on this earth.
  6. Now, Portalville is a pretty friendly place under normal circumstances and we mostly get along with each other right nice.
  7. But sometimes it all gets a bit much, especially when outside agitators come to town and demand we take sides in their outside arguments.
  8. It gets wearying, and if you add into that the tendency of most folks in town towards summer seasonal affective disorder…
  9. Well, like I said, time for a break. So, Mayor Begay ordered up those buses. We had the dire wolves manning the barricades on Route 40,
  10. let the Rock tribe seal up the passes through the Imogen Mountains, and told Dennis the Toll Troll to shut down the Wynotte Bridge—
  11. although the mayor told him he still wasn’t allowed to eat anyone who tried to cross. We sure hope he kept his word there.
  12. With the town sealed off from the world and our minds at ease about invasion, we took to the portal and had us a fine time.
  13. ‘Course, vacation always has to end sometime. The kids had to get back to school, the maintenance crews had to get back to work.
  14. And running away from problems never does any good in the long run. Not while you’re a living, breathing human being.
  15. Ain’t none of us dead yet, and while you’re drawing air into your lungs you need to be part of the world. Or you ain’t really living.
  16. So yep, we’re back. We’re still breathing. For now, anyway. All I can truly say for sure is that we’re back for today.
  17. But then, today is all you ever have, ain’t it?

This tale can also be found on Twitter @downportalville.

You can read about us from the beginning at: http://bit.ly/2k1j8B7
pjthompson: astronomer (observing)

14 Jul
Life: it’s kind of like being nibbled at by ants.

15 Jul
Huh. Because I’m a member of Amazon Prime I just received a tote of free samples from Amazon Fresh, including a one cup coffee maker.

16 Jul
I ain’t greedy. A half a mill would do me nicely.

17 Jul
I love you, Jennifer Crusie, with great heaping <3 <3 <3 ‘s: http://www.arghink.com/2013/07/17/carpe-sharknado/ …

22 Jul
I bet making love to the Geico Made of Money guy would be kind of scratchy.

23 Jul
Medicare is planning to cut coverage to dialysis patients. Help protect access to dialysis. Tell Congress to stop Medicare cuts before they start. We need your help: http://bit.ly/DaVitaAdvocacy 

This disproportionately affects poor, sick people. Through no fault of her own my mother has kidney failure. She did everything right: ate healthy, kept active, took all her BP meds, but they could never control her high BP and eventually it destroyed her kidneys. Diabetes can do it, a severe e-coli infection can do it, many diseases can do it. This is not about people abusing their bodies. This is often just about bad luck, and the cost of the treatment is staggeringly high.

August 1 Addendum: This is basically a dispute between the drug manufacturer who charges exorbitant rates for anti-anemia drugs, the dialysis centers who make money off of kidney patients, and Medicare.  My mother’s kidney doctor says she does not need the drug that they are fighting over at this point. So that’s good news for us personally, but still potentially devastating news for other old, poor sick people. It makes me ashamed to be an American, frankly.

25 Jul
Worry and guilt are useless emotions. You have to learn to let them go. Fear is sometimes a life saver, but you’ve got to let that go, too.

26 Jul
The world is an illusion that we have to take very, very seriously.

28 Jul
The kind of day where I’m too tired to even get up for aspirin for a headache. Mom, cat and I dozing in our chairs watching the Dodgers. Bottom of the 9th and a 0-0 score.

29 Jul
Whenever I run into a really fussy person I want to tell them, “You haven’t got time for that. Whatever you do, you’re still going to die.”

29 Jul
Middle Class Problems: I hate it when the foliage is at the apex of its summer glory and the gardener decides to trim it back to a stub.

29 Jul
The Universe is so strange. Help comes from the most unexpected places.

31 Jul
Protip: When someone is frustrated and angry, don’t laugh at them. You won’t josh them out of it you’ll just make them more pissed. My glasses are held together with a paper clip. Hilarious this morning. Last night at the end of a trying evening, not so much.

31 Jul
There seems to be an unpleasant theme in anagrams of my name from the anagram server: Aha Moments Plop, Shaman Melt Poop, Anal Moppet Mosh, Ample Phat Moons. Hmmm. I had to stop reading after awhile. Aha Moments Plop is a lot how my creative process happens, so I have a certain fondness for it. The anagram server found zero anagrams for PJ Thompson so I had to use my Real Girl Name.

1 Aug
Hilarious and horrifying—one star reviews on Amazon of classic novels: http://bit.ly/15yoRxn 

2 Aug
CBS and Time Warner are both corporate Aholes for holding their customers hostage in their negotiations. Get off the dime, jerks

4 Aug
Channel 9 carries some of the Dodger games here in L.A. They are owned by CBS. They are blacked out. You know what’s really fun? Explaining to a 92-year-old with short term memory problems why she can’t watch her Dodgers (ad nauseam).

6 Aug
The Onion: I’m Only Really Happy When I’m Writing… http://onion.com/1b9ruYs 

8 Aug
Who needs bifocals?

bifocals photo smallishbifocals_zpsdf01c6c8.jpg

14 Aug
My latest Etsy admired whimsy: http://www.etsy.com/shop/Mindielee 

16 Aug
It’s amazing how busy some peoples’ desks suddenly get when there’s shitwork to be done.

It is done, and I am not merely dead, but really most sincerely dead.

17 Aug
I just spent $180 at the pet store. Not all of it was bird seed but a big chunk was. This is part of my expensive trip to the pet store. http://twitpic.com/d8w98j 

In my defense, I waited until it was 20% off. Min had a great time with it and can once again look out a favored window.

19 Aug
I want a house the color of orange sherbet with white trim: a Creamsicle house. I’ve been obsessing about it for weeks now. A neighbor down the block has burnt orange with mustard trim. Not as horrible as you’d imagine. Alas, my dreams of color will not be realized soon. No money and a “roommate” who does not appreciate…beauty.

23 Aug
I’ve decided, all things considered, that I am not going to knuckle under to blackmail. Do your worst, sir. I will persevere. Ultimatums are really not a way to persuade anyone to do what you want them to.

23 Aug
Seems like morning show hosts are irritating nerds all around the world.

 The Russian Army Choir doing Adele’s “Skyfall” on a Moscow morning show: http://avc.lu/16WvFbm 

23 Aug
Middle Class Problems: The cleaning woman threw out a brand new unopened large container of cottage cheese with a pull date in October.

26 Aug
A nice summer evening gathering around the fire pit last night. We had enough food for 25 people. Five were in attendance. I wanted to be sure no one left hungry. They’ll probably be dining on the leftovers for days. I know we will.

28 Aug
The irritating neighbor just turned scary. If you don’t hear from me for a week, assume the worst. My mother did the one unforgivable thing, apparently. She told the truth as she sees it. He couldn’t handle the truth. Why is it that bigots never recognize that they are bigots? Or maybe they do, they just don’t want to be called out on it. I shall be providing my mother’s transportation to and from dialysis from now on.

29 Aug
omg I must still be a writer. I just got a gobsmacking idea for my next novel. That I have neither time nor energy to write. I guess I’ll let it simmer for an ice age or two. I’m wondering if you can still be a writer without a consistent or predictable time to do your writing.

30 Aug
I’ve got so much to do today: reading, sitting on my butt, dictating into the phone and seeing what VOS comes up with. Oh wait, I meant VRS. Or as VRS wrote, “to be our ass.” (Don’t ask me.)

30 Aug
Mom: “How do I tell if WiFi is on?”
Me: “I’ve told you 100 times.”
Mom: “But I can’t remember the other 99 times.”

30 Aug
Watching an H2 mockumentary on the zombie apocalypse and Mom is all “Wuh?”

31 Aug
It’s too hot for lap time so Min is making do with pillow and towel. http://twitpic.com/dbbhle   She has such a tough life.

31 Aug
Only 1.8 days left on my initial backup to a cloud service. Damn, I’ve got a lot of junk on my Mac. My internet service is decent most times but not for stuff like this—and there’s a lot of junk on my harddrive. This is a one time upload, though.

2 Sep
Backup complete at 78262 files, 21.6 GB.

2 Sep
Min had a pretty good day yesterday: people tuna for dinner, fresh catnip on her carpeted kitty stairs, steak for table scraps, lots of lap time…All in honor of her 12th birthday. Live long and prosper, baby girl.

All is right with the world. http://twitpic.com/dbonfg 

3 Sep
The news was not all bad at the doctor’s office. In fact, there’s a glimmer of hope. I may be able to have knee surgery after, all but there are too many variables yet to be determined.

6 Sep
My hair’s been on fire all week at work, and I’ve also been dealing with Los Angeles County Department of Social Services. OMG. So ready for the weekend.

But Putting It Out There works in mysterious and unexpected ways. I end the week in more hope then I began it. Praise the Universe!

Mirrored from Better Than Dead.

pjthompson: (sunlight)
It’s the first sunshine we’ve had here at the coast for a few days, and most of the last week has been overcast and gloomy.  Summer hasn’t arrived yet, and spring is still trying to make up its mind.  Min kitty likes it when I hunker down at home and write, but I’m thinking I really should go out and soak up some Vitamin D.

Lethargy after a tough week at work and knowing I have a four day weekend has made me, well, lethargic.  So here I stay. I do have to go out eventually to buy the ingredients for the dinner I’m cooking tonight: braised short ribs with red wine and veggies.  If I can find the short ribs.  Ralph’s had some lovely ones last weekend—but that was last weekend.  No telling what they’ll have today.

And so, I think I’ll stop whiffling and go . . .
pjthompson: (Default)
Oh yes, I remember that I used to take some really weird pictures. I'm remembering as I pick through the old stuff.

Here's one I call "American Gothic Ollie."

american gothic ollie

I could explain it, but that would spoil all the fun. I'll just say that this is the neighborhood I grew up in and at least half of this picture no longer exists.

Overall, this has been a good vacation. I went nowhere, by choice, not even to the 3D showing of Avatar, as I'd planned. I really really really enjoying staying around the house, doing things that I'd put off due to general working exhaustion. I also read, wrote, cleared out old e-files, sorted through old pictures, did chores, ran errands, thought, reflected, meditated, had long phone conversations with old friends, cooked, ate, exercised, fiddled online. Although I bought myself one of those timer thingies so I wouldn't spend too much time fiddling online and suck away my vacation. That's worked rather well, though it scares the hell out of Min when the alarm goes off. Startles me some, too, frankly—but at least it keeps me from losing all track of time.

So, there's the alarm and my laundry's calling. Guess I'll go now. Hope you had some time off and that it was good for you, too.
pjthompson: (Default)
I admit I was pretty punchy last night, coming off a couple of intense months of work and it being the night my vacation began. But I'm watching the local entertainment guru on the evening news last night and they were doing a piece on the new Hilary Swank movie, P.S. I Love You. They had an interview with the actor who co-stars in it with her. The text beneath him as he was talking read, "Gerald Butler."

"Wait," says I, "all this time I thought it was the guy from 300, but he's Gerard Butler."

That would have been quite a stretch, I'm thinking, going from Phantom of the Opera (and getting panned for one's singing), then 300, then P.S. I Love You. But wow, that must get confusing, having two actors who look so much alike and one's Gerald Butler and one's named Gerard Butler.

This morning that wasn't quite sitting right, so I hit the IMDB. Impressive range for Mr. Gerard Butler: Phantom of the Opera, followed by 300, followed by P.S. I Love You. Looks like somebody in the newsroom caption typing staff made a wee bit of a typo.

I'm thinking of watching 300 as my Christmas movie, btw. All that festive red.
pjthompson: (Default)
I had so many plans for this vacation, but I've passed the halfway mark and gotten very few of them done.

The good news is, I think I finally got rested up from the work madness of the last few weeks before the break and from the long, winding year. I actually had energy today. Maybe I'll get more done now. Or not.

I seem to be easily distracted—set out to do one task, get snagged by another, then fascinated by something else. Not a recipe for productivity. I've done some writing, but I'd planned on more; I've done some reading-for-crit but have yet to crit; I've not cleaned; I've cooked a little, but none of the grand schemes I had before the break; and the étagère remains unputtogether, the bathroom mirror frame untiled.

I have made good progress on the music project I was not doing, though.

The cat is in the process of harassing me, trying to get me off the computer and into the chair so she can have lap time. She's gotten quite used to having me to herself in the evenings and firmly planted in the reading/viewing chair. I generally don't do much computing weeknights because of the overuse syndrome. It's not a good idea to spend all day on the computer then all night on the computer. Neck spasms result. Pain is a wonderful reminder to take breaks. Cat reminds me to take breaks, too, by knocking things off table, jumping on the back of the chair to step on my shoulders, getting in my face, running across the keyboard, etc., etc. Since I ran errands quite a lot today I haven't been 'putering much and thought I'd get in some time this evening, but...

It looks like I'd better do as I'm told and sit my booty in the reading chair. I'm pussy-whipped, I am.

(And mostly loving it.)
pjthompson: (Default)
Writing: I dreamed Friday night that I was having a conversation with another writer and talking about how in my first drafts I have the bad habit of beginning sentences with "And." I way overuse it, and it's one of those things I'm constantly hacking out of second drafts. I woke up Saturday morning and logged on to the Online Writing Workshop to find I had a review of Charged with Folly which told me I began too many sentences with "And," and I should really work on that. I had to laugh. It must have bugged her so much she tunneled into my dreams. And I agree with her. ☺

Families: Technically speaking, I misspoke yesterday in my gratitude post when I said my mom was about the only family I have left. I should have said significant family, because I've got gallons and gallons of cousins out there. Almost all are strangers to me who live in other states (my mom and Aunt Maxine were the rebels who moved from the encrusted enclave in Utah to California). Of the two cousins I was ever close to, I'm only still in touch with one, and even she lives quite a ways away. With her mom, Maxine, gone, we hardly ever see each other.

I also have some nieces and a nephew out there somewhere. All but one of them were older than me (my half-brother was only two years younger than my mother) and their mother didn't approve of my family—we were the poor relations she didn't wish to expose her children to. I saw them semi-frequently when I was a kid, at my brother Jack's insistence, but once he and his wife divorced in my early teens, the kids and wife disappeared from my life (and, I suspect, largely from Jack's). He's passed on now. I have no idea where any of them are. I didn't even know Jack had died until years after the fact.

Families. Messy.

Fortunately, I have good "family of choice," some of whom have been my friends three-quarters of my life.

Vacation: I finally feel like I've gotten my energy back. The first couple of days, even before I'd eaten turkey, I sat down in the chair to read and promptly fell asleep—in the middle of the day, something that's extremely atypical of me. It reaffirmed my decision to take some serious downtime this weekend. I've gotten some things done, but mostly I've perfected the art of sloth.

And I hope you all had the weekends you wished for!

ETA: For those of you who love the Geico Cavemen as much as I do, something more on vacations:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6j9U0qP7H3g

And this one, my favorite in the series. The expression on the actor's face at the end is just priceless.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zZrjr4A-ASQ
pjthompson: (Default)
Because I'm on vacation and can meme if I want to.


Behind a cut to save everyone. )
pjthompson: poll ya (riddler)
Hey, this is the best I could come up with while in the process of turning into a human vegetable.

[Poll #738239]


Vacations should be all about...?

View Answers
Turning into a vegetable.
3(27.3%)
Go go go! Do do do!
0(0.0%)
A little go-go, a little do-do, a little vegetable platter.
2(18.2%)
Party party PARty! Woooo!
1(9.1%)
Family togetherness.
0(0.0%)
Going on retreat, getting in touch with the spirit, centering and balancing, meditating, Kumbaya.
1(9.1%)
Going someplace educational and expanding one's intellectual horizons.
0(0.0%)
Conventioneering!
0(0.0%)
Household projects.
0(0.0%)
It's all about the O.
2(18.2%)
Other (commentiserate if you will)
2(18.2%)
pjthompson: (Default)
I've mostly taken a vacation from The Novel while I've been on vacation from work. I hammered out the structural problems I had with the three timelines early in the vacation so that when I get back to work on it tomorrow, I should have a much clearer roadmap. I feel good about that, but I thought the time off would do me good, much as I want to get it over and done with. And generally, I feel real good about the prospect of getting back to it. I'd started to dread it before the vacation.

Instead, during my time, off I've concentrated mostly on working on older stories, novelette length, trying to whip them into shape. Working on short stories, after that first burst of writing, the visionary stage, is always an agony for me. I get so confused about what to cut and what to leave in—what if I cut the one thing that will make people gasp? I know this is irrational, but when it comes to editing short stories, I find myself spinning in circles, uncertain which way is true north, often giving up and trunking the thing out of sheer confusion.

(And thanks to those who read one of these stories and were so helpful.)

I don't have anything like this problem when I'm editing my novels. I tend to throw everything but the kitchen sink into the first draft, knowing even at the time that some of it is going to come out. But the first draft is the working out phase, where I begin to feel the true shape of the novel inside me, where the plot twists one way, then another, and one direction finally settles into place. With novels, I do most of my agony up front and get it out of the way, and that process in and of itself points me to true north. When it comes time for subsequent drafts, I still have that sense and it becomes readily apparent what needs to go and what must stay, what was a tangent and what was vital background. One pass through to cut those unnecessary scenes, another pass through to cut fat language and rambling descriptions, etc., and that word count starts coming down. Third drafts are harder because that's where I have to go after the darlings of scene and the darlings of language—and I may be a grownup girl and able to accomplish these things, but it ain't always easy.

And sometimes they don't work. Sometimes I have to throw them into a trunk for a long time and move on to the next project before I can see what's wrong. It helps to have a number of novels under my belt; it helps to have several in various stages of completion in the pipeline. It does get easier with time.

But it's almost impossible for me with short stories. Those are all "agony after" because I haven't had time during the writing to find true north. I have to discover that by chipping away and pulling apart, in running from them in panic. Sometimes I edit them for years and trunk them for long periods in between, feeling helpless. Which doesn't do a hell of a lot for my short story career, I can tell you.
pjthompson: (Default)
This is the first day in about two and a half weeks that there's been breathing space at work. Everyone decided they had to have their research projects done before the Christmas break, stuff they'd been sitting on for months. You know, the usual.

But starting Friday, I'm on vacation until January 3. I am so so so looking forward to it. Inevitably, I'll have to do some unpacking and rearranging on the homefront, but I am also hoping to get a good chunk of writing done. I will not promise anything so rash as finishing the novel...but it could happen. If sloth does not overtake me.

Novel talk of the day: That is to say, talk about the novel, not necessarily anything novel.

I desperarly want to get Night Warrior gone so I can concentrate on other projects, like Charged with Folly. I almost rebelled today and decided I'd work on something else, but no. No, no, no. Must. Suck-it-up. And. Finish. That's what separates the women from the girls, right?

In today's scene there were all these people yapping and yapping and yapping. They've been having a yap party all week and won't shut up no matter how much I pound the ceiling with a broom or threaten to call the cops. All the chitter chatter is because they're trying to avoid the big fight scene—they can't fool me. But today I managed to shove them all the way up to the opening of it before I had to go back to work. They have no choice but to fight now. (Although the way they've been dragging their heels, they may take a notion to discuss the air speed of a swallow carrying a coconut instead.) (I will not allow this to happen, and no smart ass better ask whether it's a European or an African swallow, either. If anyone gets thrown into the Pit of Doom, I'm doing the throwing.) (I am the author, after all, and I'm in charge.) (You hear?)
pjthompson: (Default)
Since it's a three day weekend and I'm tired I decided to take at least one day where I goof off completely—absolutely no productive content whatsoever!—I've been very busy being non-productive. The brain keeps cycling back to thinking about productive things, but I wrench it back to piffle whenever I catch myself thinking about anything that has any meaning.

And every once in a while when I don't feel like doing anything productive, I engage in google searches of my name and the names of others. (I'm really quite an absurd human being sometimes.) A complete time waster, but sometimes quite a strange experience. There's apparently a thoracic surgeon named PJ Thompson and a financial writer. There are too many Pamela Thompsons to bother with. It's most strange when I type in the nom de plumes I used for fanfic. I didn't do a lot: one ST:V novella and a satirical newsletter based around the TV version of La Femme Nikita. (Well, okay, there were a lot of issues of that satire, but whatever. I didn't write and post fanfic for a lot of shows.) The thing that I find odd in my head-in-the-clouds way is that this stuff never seems to go away. It just cycles endlessly. That's okay—I'm happy people are still enjoying it—I just find it kind of odd. I don't know why I should find it odd, but I do. It's ancient history to me. But not to everyone.

The last time I typed in the name I used for my one and only piece of Star Trek porn (posted December 1997), I got one page of entries on google. I was surprised to find even that many, but apparently a number of people had linked to the site where the story was posted. Some had included it in their favorites list (thank you very much!). And of course there was the Golden Orgasm I won for it that year from ASCEM. I even got a vote for Best Hot Sex—well, a split vote between me and someone else. But thanks! I appreciate that very much.

I guess the strangest entry was for an academic article, published in the Journal of American Culture, which discussed fanfic (and Janeway/Chakotay porn in particular). It used my story for its analysis (amongst others). I was dying to read that one. The publisher would sell a pdf for $26.00 but my curiosity wasn't that great. Some of the local libraries had copies of the magazine—at least in their online catalogs. Inevitably, when the actual search for the particular issue was conducted, the issue in question had disappeared from the shelves. One sad archive librarian at the main library in downtown L.A. said that this sort of thing went on all the time anymore. People had no compunction about stealing or destroying magazines and books.

Loyola Marymount said they'd xerox a copy for me, but I had to appear in person to claim it, and because I was non-student, non-faculty I'd have to pay them $10 to copy it plus parking on campus. That was starting to make the $26 look not so bad. But an intrepid research assistant buddy of mine at work thought she could do a better job of finding this thing and within a half hour had found a free pdf on the LA County Library website! Apparently they'd scanned it before somebody stole it.

Reading that article was definitely odd.

So today, non-productive day, trying desperately to keep my mind off The Novel or anything relating to it, I typed in that fanfic name again. There were pages and pages of entries this time! Apparently some guy with the same last name as the novelist I cribbed my last name from wrote an article which mentions the poet I cribbed for my first name, so there were lots of references there. Plus many for the Star Trek porn, including some ones that weren't there before.

Life is funny. Especially when I think I may never get published by the establishment no matter how hard I work or how serious I am, while this stuff that I did for fun way back when cycles and cycles and cycles... Don't get me wrong—I'm happy to have readers. I might still be writing fanfic if I hadn't started longing to tell my own stories with my own characters. Fanfic wasn't doing it for me anymore. So I stopped writing it—but it was a great training ground and I learned many important lessons from the experience of writing it.

Which shows, I suppose, that sometimes even goofing off can have an unanticipated productive side.

Not Grind

Jan. 2nd, 2005 11:04 am
pjthompson: (Default)
So, anyway, I posted the first chapter of the new novel, Night Warrior, to the workshop last week. I didn't figure it would get much attention during the week between Xmas and New Year's, but I also figured what the heck. I was pleasantly surprised there. Reception's been pretty good. The chapter has first draft issues, of course, but so far nothing too insurmountable. At only one chapter in. We'll see how the rest goes.

Basically, I'll be happy if critters say, "Your premise doesn't suck."

I actually got more writing done than I thought I would over Xmas break. Every year I usually do a full body collapse, just let myself sloth it all over so I can regain my energy. I tend to burn the candle at both ends during my "real life." Typically, it takes me the better part of a week to feel vim and vigorated. This year was no different, but while semi-comatose I also managed to get most of the work done on chapter nine of Night Warrior plus some significant twiddily bits on earlier chapters, and wrote some crits (something I've been seriously behind on for months). So it was a semi-productive full body collapse. Writing always vims and vigorates me. It's all the other squanto that burns me up.

I'm glad about working out the problems on chapter nine. It was not working as I originally wrote it so I scrapped it and started again, then that wasn't quite working, and I finally realized I could use part of what I'd discarded to round it out. Good thing I never throw away anything. I haven't smoothed everything out yet, but I feel like I hammered through the major problems. It's taken the better part of three weeks. Hopefully things will run along smoothly for awhile. My local beta readers told me they expected new chapters when my vacation was over. I almost have one for them.

I dreamed about looking for a new job last night. Which is something I so don't want to contemplate. I also dreamed that I was a devastatingly handsome man. Hmm. Too much time inside Caius's head, I guess. I almost never write first person, so it's been an interesting experience all the way around.

So now I'm all rested and it's almost time to go back to the grind. *sigh* Such is life. It's feels like the world changed in the last week—but I suppose it hasn't really. Or maybe it has.

And compared with three-quarters of the world, I live a blessed life. I'm grateful.

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