pjthompson: sunlight (thin places)
Temple Church, Cornwall, Spring 2004









You don't have to be Christian to feel the presence of this ancient church, built by the Knights Templar. The ancient holiness of it seeps up from the ground. The quiet is profound, the centeredness embraces you if you let it. It doesn't need your adoration and reverence, but if you give it, this places returns it threefold.
pjthompson: poetry (redrose)
Who is this god beside me in the cool green
garden shadows, this moss maker, leaf breaker,
slow chipper of stones who pools the rain in the
niche places, causes the flowers to raise weary
heads to the sun; this gentle, quiet god of
tiny miracles and mundane wonders who
we take for granted as surely as we take
the breath in our lungs and at our lips?

Is it the same Power and Glory who causes
leaves to glisten in the sun and dance softly
on the air? Thundering and booming, the
poltergeists of the air know this god’s name
but do not reveal their secrets to the unworthy.
They merely light the way for the rain this god of
little things wears so well: earth sifter, root maker,
creeper through the new grass, safe and hidden.

—PJ Thompson

Taroting

Mar. 24th, 2020 05:13 pm
pjthompson: (Default)
Yesterday I did a 4-card spread, inspired by something I saw by [personal profile] tjoel2. I used the Crow Tarot by MJ Cullinane, which has become the deck I feel most bonded with. The way I decided to do the spread was to ask four questions, draw a card for each and interpret each as I would in the Advice/Outcome position. I set my intentions, then asked/wrote out (my way of setting questions) two personal and two general questions. I won’t post the personal ones. Not that I’m trying to hide anything but I don’t think the world needs to read about my neurosis right now. (Although I fully admit that it’s possible my interpretations may have some of that neurosis leaking into the reading.) But I thought the other two cards might be worth sharing. These are my interpretations and I am open to hearing about others. (I am sure there will be others.) So:

Question: How will this pandemic affect the nation?



The Emperor Reversed is all about warning against arrogance, and about over-confidence getting in the way. It’s also about losing the respect that you crave. About not having wisdom, authority, and clear vision that’s needed for a successful outcome. This is about leaders needing to step up and do what’s right. Remember, I asked about the nation. And for me I think the non-emperor we’re talking about here, the one who is failing, is Donald Trump and his cadre of yes men. Individual governors and mayors are taking this seriously and stepping up to lead, but our national leadership has failed badly. The president who would be an emperor is acting as neither.


Question: Will our democracy survive?



This is about a time of quiet reflection and the passing on of knowledge. The knowledge comes from the tree of knowledge that the crow-hermit sits on; the lantern is the symbol of the wisdom needed to light the way; snowflakes represent cleansing and moving in a spiritual direction that will help fulfill the journey. We arrive at a good place by understanding how we arrived in the situation in the first place. The Hermit counsels going inward, quieting the mind, and connecting with the inner light, the light that will guide us. It still burns brightly if we allow ourselves to see it. If we listen to the guidance of our higher selves. “Remove yourself from the chatter” to receive these messages. Well, that will be a challenge in this fractured nation, but this card actually does give me hope. The bedrock of who we are, I have to believe, is still in place. Time and again, we have been challenged. It always seems to be tragedy that brings us together, to remember who we are, that deep, fundamental thing that used to be called “American exceptionalism.” Well. we haven’t been very exceptional lately and have turned our backs on the principles that made us strong. This card says to me (and maybe it’s just my ardent hope) that if we allow ourselves to remember those principles and truly live them (rather than just giving lip service), we may all pull through this and be a stronger nation on the other side of the crisis. One that has the wisdom to treat all citizens equally, knowing it makes us stronger when we do that, not weaker. A nation that truly seeks liberty and justice for all.

What do you think?

Musings

Oct. 15th, 2019 02:23 pm
pjthompson: (musings)
I can claim no service for myself, but my dad was a Marine for 30 years. He fought through the Pacific campaign in WW II and the Inchon Basin in Korea. Tough, bloody campaigns. He was one of the kindest, most thoughtful, and gentlest men I've ever known. That wasn't necessarily the case when he was on duty. That was Business, and a different thing altogether. But we rarely saw that side of him, and never directed at us, only at fools.

I remember one time when my apartment was broken into and Mom and Dad came over to wait with me until the police arrived. When the LAPD showed up, Dad (who never forgot a face of anyone he served with) said to one of the cops, "You were once one of my Marines, weren't you?" The cop acknowledged that Tom had been his gunney sergeant many years before. Mom, who only knew gentle Tom, said, "But I bet he was much nicer than those guys usually are." The policeman looked a little embarrassed, but then he smiled and said, "M'am, in my experience, gunneys are never nice." My dad laughed so hard.

But it proved a point. Being a badass when it's required to get you through a tough situation is appropriate and will help keep you and those around you alive. But it doesn't mean you have to carry that badassery with you everywhere you go or use it as an excuse to lash out. There was still room in Tom's soul to be kind, thoughtful, and gentle.

*
This reminds me so much of Temple Church which we visited in Cornwall. It was also built by the Templars. It's not just the style of the church—which I understand was a pretty standard Templar construction (they built them all over), but the peaceful little green valley that it was built into. They chose their spots well.


Full URL: https://www.undiscoveredscotland.co.uk/temple/temple/index.html


Temple Church, Cornwall

I'm not a Christian, but this was a genuinely holy spot. There was peace that surpasseth all. Some churches are like that, usually in quiet, out of the way spots. Others are merely hollow shells.

*
Don't let anybody tell you any different: trolls exist in both sexes. From a female POV it may just seem like they're all male, and maybe the preponderance are (I have no objective evidence to prove it one way or another), but trolls definitely swing both ways.

*
I have good taste. I know because Pinterest is always telling me so.

*
It's rare when something lives up to its hype, but in the case of Fleabag, it absolutely does. A wonderful series, completely unique.

*
This time of year I'm always so glad that I stopped following the Dodgers years ago.

*
D*mino's: Pizza that tastes like it was made really, really fast.

*
Donald Trump apparently believes that betraying our Kurdish allies and unleashing ISIS on the Middle East again will distract people from his impeachment. His usual bait-and-switch but it may backfire on him badly. Unfortunately, it also is going to kill a lot of innocent people.

*
Crone

I thought I understood
but it was yet
another posture,
something not
comprehended
until skin ripples
on bones
and toes curl
walking the walk.

*
From "Demolition Man," The New Yorker, Dec. 24 & 31, 2007:


*
I think everybody goes through a clueless twat phase in their life. Some of us do it in our teens and twenties, some much later in life, but in the old days, the cluelessness was viewed by a handful of people who just shook their heads in disbelief and moved on. With the advent of the internet and so many people longing to be "influencers," that cluelessness is often on display for the whole world to see and has the potential of haunting you for the rest of your life.

*
I think Trump's Syria move may be an attempt to have a safe haven in Turkey when he flees the U.S. legal system. A back-up plan to Russia.

Musings

Jul. 12th, 2019 03:30 pm
pjthompson: (musings)
TV Show pitch: This Old Crone
Like the PBS seres, This Old House (the original remodeling show), but featuring the transformation of an old crone rather than an old home. It should be hosted by the person who really knows how to do the work rather than the half-assed dilettante hosebag. In this series, instead of covering up the flaws in the crone, we shine a bright spotlight on them so that anyone, including the crone, can learn from them. And the eccentricities of construction will be celebrated rather than trying to turn them into something sleek and modern. Repair work will be done, of course, but with the knowledge that decrepitude is inevitable and the only sure and certain principle ruling the Universe is entropy. Rather than mourning this, the show will encourage us to accept it with as much grace and dignity as possible and learn from it, as well. But we must also remember that if entropy rules the Universe, irony is its only begotten daughter.

Everyone's path is their own. No path is superior. Everyone has to find their own way. The path of quiet contemplation is as valid as the full-throated war cry. Anyone who judges your path isn't as secure in their own as they think they are. One person has trouble crossing a room without pain; another climbs mountains. In the end, it doesn't matter. All that matters is the flame in your heart. If it dies, you've failed. If it's still burning, you're still burning, and you're where you need to be.

One of my ancestors is named Mary Polly Armor and I always want to read that as Mary Polyamory. #BecauseThatsJustTheSortOfBrainIHave

What’s the first major news event you remember in your lifetime? I was going to say the assassination of JFK but it’s really the Cuban Missile Crisis. I remember those drills, our young teacher herding us little bitty kids into the cloakroom to shelter. I remember her crying each time and I didn’t figure out until later that it was because she never knew if we were hiding out because it was real and the bombs were on the way or if it was just another drill. I was terrified and didn't really know why.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the notion that paranormal activity is caused by places being built on Indian burial grounds. It’s quite prevalent in paranormal research and I’ve also fallen prey to the thought of vengeful native spirits. Lately, I’ve reconsidered this. It’s as essentially racist as the Ancient Aliens/Van Daniken notion that primitive (read “people of color”) societies could not possibly have invented the wonders they did—it had to be gifted to them from Space Overlords. The Indian burial ground notion has even pervaded popular horror movie culture. The one exception to this that I can think of in popular culture (rather than supposedly legit research) is the movie Poltergeist. The dead folks in that movie were just vengeful dead folks, not vengeful natives. I can't think of such an exception in paranormal research. It makes me feel guilty that I even considered the Indian burial ground scenario. Although I'm not sure my white guilt is any more helpful than white appropriation or white nullification of culture. Mostly I realize it's not about me except for when I can work for positive change.

Here near LAX we got a gentle rolling from the July 5th 7.1 earthquake (downgraded to only 6.9), but it did go on for a very long time. Sometimes they are gentle at first then the big whammy hits, so until things stop there's always the fear it will get bigger. One of my neighbors was standing out in her front yard screaming, however, which I thought kind of extreme but it takes everybody different. I did feel seasick afterwards, though.

The only thing I know is that whatever negative thing you are when you're young, you will still be that negative thing when you're old, only more so. Unless you do a s*** ton of work on yourself between youth and age, if you're a young rage monkey he'll be in old age monkey; if you're a judgmental young twat you'll be a judgmental old twat. The good news is, if you're a thoughtful, considerate person when you're young you'll most likely still be a thoughtful, considerate old person. The seeds of who our selves are planted at the moment of our birth.

I think the dictation on my Word program must be Scottish. It never wants to capitalize the name Ken.

I lived a block from the Sidewalk Cafe in the 80s. We often ate there in the day time, but knew to stay off the Boardwalk at night: too wild & dangerous for girls on their own. It sounds like things have changed—and not changed: https://www.theparisreview.org/blog/2019/05/08/a-night-with-a-bouncer/#.XRlOldiNsgk.twitter



I have to confess that as much as I loathe Ancient Aliens, it's a good show to have on for background noise when I'm not feeling very well. I can read Twitter while it's playing and look up every once in a while to yell very rude things at the screen. #NeverSaidIWasntWeird

I don't feed the crows every day. But every time I do feed them, the day after one of them will perch on the rail near my open front door and yell at me to feed them again. #LoveThemCrows

The Detectorists – a lovely, gentle, funny show. One of my favorites.


I have a terrible confession to make. I hope you'll still be my friends once you hear it: I like the lumps in cream of wheat.

Opening up

Dec. 13th, 2018 10:59 am
pjthompson: quotes (quotei)

Random quote of the day:

“Every man, when he gets quiet, when he becomes desperately honest with himself, is capable of uttering profound truths. We all derive from the same source. There is no mystery about the origin of things. We are all part of creation, all kings, all poets, all musicians; we have only to open up, only to discover what is already there.”

—Henry Miller, Sexus: The Rosy Crucifixion, Book I

Disclaimer: The views expressed in this random quote of the day do not necessarily reflect the views of the poster, her immediate family, Laurel and Hardy, Ariana Grande, or the Salvation Army Band. They do, however, sometimes reflect the views of the Cottingley Fairies.

Mirrored from Better Than Dead.

pjthompson: (Default)

 

I was reading an article in the September 2018 issue of Fortean Times (FT370) called “Strange Stories from Southport”—a seaside town in Merseyside, roughly 20 miles north of Liverpool. Most of the stories in this article dealt with sightings of the Old Man of Halsall Moss—an old, possibly drunken, man in antique farmers clothes who is often seen staggering beside the road by passing motorists only to suddenly disappear.

Other people traveling the solitary places around Southport have had timeslips or momentarily driven through a changed landscape. One mother and son experienced a nighttime landscape beneath a crescent moon showering luminous arcs of light down upon the open fields. The streetlights on either side of the road echoed these luminous arcs, as did the headlights of the cars coming from the opposite direction. They passed a car with two ladies inside but when the mother looked in the rearview mirror, the car had completely disappeared, although there was no turn off anywhere nearby. When they returned home by this same road about three hours later, there were no arcs of light and, furthermore, they realized that the streetlights weren’t on either side of the road as they had originally perceived them, but went straight down the middle. They also realized that the crescent moon arcing light had been to the north of them instead of traveling its usual east to west.

Stories like this are a great comfort to me because I’ve had my own impossible sightings, when a mundane trip down a familiar road can turn suddenly…other. Even though I’m certain of what I saw and was fully awake in broad daylight, knowing that you have experienced something you just could not have experienced is deeply unsettling. You gnaw on it for the rest of your life, you return to it again and again, asking yourself how it could have been. And not infrequently, you (I) question your (my) sanity.

But when I read about other normal people seeing scrambled realities I can tell myself that sometimes weird stuff just happens.

Some time back my friends and I were having interesting discussions about timeslips and other warps in reality, sharing personal experiences of our own and of our friends. The next day I received the (then) latest Fortean Times (February 2017, FT 350) which had an article by Jenny Randles (“Timelessness”) on “time travel, close encounters and other ripples in reality.” Being the good Jungian that I am, I recognized a synchronicity and started working on a post—which, alas, got buried by busyness in other areas.

My friend, L. (I have four friends with the first initial of L), told me of a strange encounter she and her then-boyfriend had when camping at a remote site in the Santa Rosa Mountains of California. As they drove along the lonely highway, they came up behind an old jalopy of a truck going slowly up the mountain. It was loaded with people riding in its bed and even though they spent considerable time behind the truck because the road was too narrow for safe passing, the only person in the vehicle who acknowledged their presence was an old guy who stared and laughed and grinned in a kooky kind of way that L. found quite unnerving.

The truck continued up the mountainside, but eventually L. and her boyfriend turned off at the campground. Their car was the only one in the small parking lot in the middle of nowhere. They unloaded their gear and hiked into the remote campsite. When they got there, two women sat on one of the campground picnic tables looking at a fire on a distant range. They didn’t seem unfriendly. They smiled and said something neither L. nor her boyfriend could understand and pointed to the smoke they were watching. Again, L. felt unnerved, but she put it down to having read too much Casteneda. She and her boyfriend hiked into the woods to set up camp but when they next looked at the picnic table, the women were gone. As the night progressed, a feeling of oppression overcame L., like something wanted them gone. She felt as if she was being closed in upon, watched. L. turned to her boyfriend and said, “I think we should leave. Now.” “I think you’re right,” he said. He’d been feeling the same thing. It was the middle of the night, but they packed up in a hurry and left.

Ms. Randles speaks of the “Oz factor” often preceding odd experiences, wherein, for example, a busy road or room suddenly becomes profoundly quiet as the state of consciousness of the percipient changes. Simon Young, writing in FT362 (January 2018—“Introducing the Fairy Census 2014-2017”) says that there are a significant number of these experiences “while people are driving or travelling in a car” or stopped at lay-bys. He also speaks of a profound silence often accompanying this otherness.

In the case of a friend of a friend (another L.), when he was a teen, he was traveling down Roosevelt Boulevard in St. Petersburg, Florida in a car driven by his mother. The road was surrounded by fields and palm scrub, and as he gazed out the window, he was no longer in the car, which had completely disappeared. He was riding a horse and felt certain that he was an Indian. This went on for several minutes before he returned just as suddenly to the car.

Many years later, he decided to teach himself how to drive a stick shift so he borrowed his wife’s car and headed for this selfsame Roosevelt Boulevard because he knew he could drive to the end of it without getting in the way of too many other drivers. The boulevard dead-ended at some piney woods, so he headed in that direction. By the time he got there, it was dark and he came upon a stop sign that he didn’t remember ever seeing before. Not only that, instead of piney woods, the boulevard ended at a T-intersection. He also didn’t remember a road crossing there before, but as it was dark and he was uncertain where it led, he elected to turn around to go back the way he’d come rather than exploring the road. But he was curious, so he drove back the next day in the daylight. There was no stop sign and no road. He and his wife found an old map of the area and on that map, the road he had seen that night clearly appeared. They looked into it and discovered that the road had been created to service a housing development that had never come to pass because of environmental concerns. Even more curious, although the map had shown the road in anticipation of the housing development being built, the road had never actually been constructed. He’s very glad he decided not to drive down that road.

But it’s not just friends and friends of friends…

In December 1992, I gathered some of my loved ones together for our annual Christmas dinner. In the middle of the festivities when everyone was telling stories and laughing, my world came to a standstill. I’ve tried to describe this sensation before and that’s as close as I can come. I was sitting in that room, but outside of it, too. I saw everyone talking, but couldn’t hear them anymore. Inside of me everything had gone completely still, the kind of silence and stillness I’ve never felt before or since. I heard a voice. My impression is that it was deep, but I can’t be sure anymore and I can’t be certain whether it was male or female, but it was a voice of great conviction. It said, “This is the last Christmas you will all spend together like this.” With those words came the utter conviction that one of us would die before the next Christmas. I didn’t know who, but I suspected it was one of my parents. Then it was like the bubble burst and I was back in the room just as before, only trying hard to pretend nothing had happened, to deny what had happened. I told no one about this experience lest they think I was crazy. October rolled around and no one had died so I began to think it was ridiculous. So I finally told someone, my oldest friend, L., and we had a good laugh over my lunacy. Two days later, my father collapsed with an aortal aneurysm and passed away.

For oh so many reasons, my world was never the same after that. As Ms. Randles says, “we scramble to make sense of the scattered fragments of reality and reconstruct the world in a linear way.” It took some work to reconstruct things, but I never returned—didn’t want to return—to the same old linear narrative I’d been living. As Emily Dickinson once said, “Tell the truth, but tell it slant.” She was speaking of the artifice of art, but for me it means that the truth of reality is slant. Or as Simon Young says, “…an inconvenient fact slapping you hard in the face: reality is not as you thought.” Unless we live on the north or south poles, all of us are walking sideways on a globe, held there by gravity. But our brains can’t deal with this version of reality, so we create a level and flat plain, a straight-on world that doesn’t exist. I see the Other as something similar, something that exists alongside us, that we catch momentary glimpses of before our brains wrench us back into our more comfortable time and space.

I have also had my own “seeing things I couldn’t have seen while driving” experience. You can read about it here. (Note: I’ve just realized, looking back at that old post, that it happened the year my mother had her stroke and everything changed utterly for me. Not only that, I wrote the post no more than a week or two before my mother’s stroke.)

As Simon Young notes, “there have been several large-scale population-wide surveys of supernatural and psychic experiences over the past 120 years.” These have shown that as many as a quarter of the population have had these kinds of significant experiences, the kind that “the rest of the population would rather not think about.”

As much as twenty-five percent of the population is an impressive number. Maybe, like me, they just read too many issues of Fortean Times or maybe, just maybe, there are layers and layers of otherness living just beneath the surface of ordinary life.

pjthompson: (lilith)

I was reading an article in the September 2018 issue of Fortean Times (FT370) called “Strange Stories from Southport”—a seaside town in Merseyside, roughly 20 miles north of Liverpool. Most of the stories in this article dealt with sightings of the Old Man of Halsall Moss—an old, possibly drunken, man in antique farmers clothes who is often seen staggering beside the road by passing motorists only to suddenly disappear.

Other people traveling the solitary places around Southport have had timeslips or momentarily driven through a changed landscape. One mother and son experienced a nighttime landscape beneath a crescent moon showering luminous arcs of light down upon the open fields. The streetlights on either side of the road echoed these luminous arcs, as did the headlights of the cars coming from the opposite direction. They passed a car with two ladies inside but when the mother looked in the rearview mirror, the car had completely disappeared, although there was no turn off anywhere nearby. When they returned home by this same road about three hours later, there were no arcs of light and, furthermore, they realized that the streetlights weren’t on either side of the road as they had originally perceived them, but went straight down the middle. They also realized that the crescent moon arcing light had been to the north of them instead of traveling its usual east to west.

Stories like this are a great comfort to me because I’ve had my own impossible sightings, when a mundane trip down a familiar road can turn suddenly…other. Even though I’m certain of what I saw and was fully awake in broad daylight, knowing that you have experienced something you just could not have experienced is deeply unsettling. You gnaw on it for the rest of your life, you return to it again and again, asking yourself how it could have been. And not infrequently, you (I) question your (my) sanity.

But when I read about other normal people seeing scrambled realities I can tell myself that sometimes weird stuff just happens.

Some time back my friends and I were having interesting discussions about timeslips and other warps in reality, sharing personal experiences of our own and of our friends. The next day I received the (then) latest Fortean Times (February 2017, FT 350) which had an article by Jenny Randles (“Timelessness”) on “time travel, close encounters and other ripples in reality.” Being the good Jungian that I am, I recognized a synchronicity and started working on a post—which, alas, got buried by busyness in other areas.

My friend, L. (I have four friends with the first initial of L), told me of a strange encounter she and her then-boyfriend had when camping at a remote site in the Santa Rosa Mountains of California. As they drove along the lonely highway, they came up behind an old jalopy of a truck going slowly up the mountain. It was loaded with people riding in its bed and even though they spent considerable time behind the truck because the road was too narrow for safe passing, the only person in the vehicle who acknowledged their presence was an old guy who stared and laughed and grinned in a kooky kind of way that L. found quite unnerving.

The truck continued up the mountainside, but eventually L. and her boyfriend turned off at the campground. Their car was the only one in the small parking lot in the middle of nowhere. They unloaded their gear and hiked into the remote campsite. When they got there, two women sat on one of the campground picnic tables looking at a fire on a distant range. They didn’t seem unfriendly. They smiled and said something neither L. nor her boyfriend could understand and pointed to the smoke they were watching. Again, L. felt unnerved, but she put it down to having read too much Casteneda. She and her boyfriend hiked into the woods to set up camp but when they next looked at the picnic table, the women were gone. As the night progressed, a feeling of oppression overcame L., like something wanted them gone. She felt as if she was being closed in upon, watched. L. turned to her boyfriend and said, “I think we should leave. Now.” “I think you’re right,” he said. He’d been feeling the same thing. It was the middle of the night, but they packed up in a hurry and left.

Ms. Randles speaks of the “Oz factor” often preceding odd experiences, wherein, for example, a busy road or room suddenly becomes profoundly quiet as the state of consciousness of the percipient changes. Simon Young, writing in FT362 (January 2018—“Introducing the Fairy Census 2014-2017”) says that there are a significant number of these experiences “while people are driving or travelling in a car” or stopped at lay-bys. He also speaks of a profound silence often accompanying this otherness.

In the case of a friend of a friend (another L.), when he was a teen, he was traveling down Roosevelt Boulevard in St. Petersburg, Florida in a car driven by his mother. The road was surrounded by fields and palm scrub, and as he gazed out the window, he was no longer in the car, which had completely disappeared. He was riding a horse and felt certain that he was an Indian. This went on for several minutes before he returned just as suddenly to the car.

Many years later, he decided to teach himself how to drive a stick shift so he borrowed his wife’s car and headed for this selfsame Roosevelt Boulevard because he knew he could drive to the end of it without getting in the way of too many other drivers. The boulevard dead-ended at some piney woods, so he headed in that direction. By the time he got there, it was dark and he came upon a stop sign that he didn’t remember ever seeing before. Not only that, instead of piney woods, the boulevard ended at a T-intersection. He also didn’t remember a road crossing there before, but as it was dark and he was uncertain where it led, he elected to turn around to go back the way he’d come rather than exploring the road. But he was curious, so he drove back the next day in the daylight. There was no stop sign and no road. He and his wife found an old map of the area and on that map, the road he had seen that night clearly appeared. They looked into it and discovered that the road had been created to service a housing development that had never come to pass because of environmental concerns. Even more curious, although the map had shown the road in anticipation of the housing development being built, the road had never actually been constructed. He’s very glad he decided not to drive down that road.

But it’s not just friends and friends of friends…

In December 1992, I gathered some of my loved ones together for our annual Christmas dinner. In the middle of the festivities when everyone was telling stories and laughing, my world came to a standstill. I’ve tried to describe this sensation before and that’s as close as I can come. I was sitting in that room, but outside of it, too. I saw everyone talking, but couldn’t hear them anymore. Inside of me everything had gone completely still, the kind of silence and stillness I’ve never felt before or since. I heard a voice. My impression is that it was deep, but I can’t be sure anymore and I can’t be certain whether it was male or female, but it was a voice of great conviction. It said, “This is the last Christmas you will all spend together like this.” With those words came the utter conviction that one of us would die before the next Christmas. I didn’t know who, but I suspected it was one of my parents. Then it was like the bubble burst and I was back in the room just as before, only trying hard to pretend nothing had happened, to deny what had happened. I told no one about this experience lest they think I was crazy. October rolled around and no one had died so I began to think it was ridiculous. So I finally told someone, my oldest friend, L., and we had a good laugh over my lunacy. Two days later, my father collapsed with an aortal aneurysm and passed away.

For oh so many reasons, my world was never the same after that. As Ms. Randles says, “we scramble to make sense of the scattered fragments of reality and reconstruct the world in a linear way.” It took some work to reconstruct things, but I never returned—didn’t want to return—to the same old linear narrative I’d been living. As Emily Dickinson once said, “Tell the truth, but tell it slant.” She was speaking of the artifice of art, but for me it means that the truth of reality is slant. Or as Simon Young says, “…an inconvenient fact slapping you hard in the face: reality is not as you thought.” Unless we live on the north or south poles, all of us are walking sideways on a globe, held there by gravity. But our brains can’t deal with this version of reality, so we create a level and flat plain, a straight-on world that doesn’t exist. I see the Other as something similar, something that exists alongside us, that we catch momentary glimpses of before our brains wrench us back into our more comfortable time and space.

I have also had my own “seeing things I couldn’t have seen while driving” experience. You can read about it here. (Note: I’ve just realized, looking back at that old post, that it happened the year my mother had her stroke and everything changed utterly for me. Not only that, I wrote the post no more than a week or two before my mother’s stroke.)

As Simon Young notes, “there have been several large-scale population-wide surveys of supernatural and psychic experiences over the past 120 years.” These have shown that as many as a quarter of the population have had these kinds of significant experiences, the kind that “the rest of the population would rather not think about.”

As much as twenty-five percent of the population is an impressive number. Maybe, like me, they just read too many issues of Fortean Times or maybe, just maybe, there are layers and layers of otherness living just beneath the surface of ordinary life.

Mirrored from Better Than Dead.

pjthompson: (Default)

entrance west kennet-sm

Entrance to West Kennet Long Barrow by Adrian Pink
(I’m afraid I have to rely on the photos of others as I’ve yet to scan my own.)

On a cold day in late September with occasional showers of rain, many years ago now, I was pretty much alone on the A4 highway driving from Marlborough towards Devizes in Wiltshire, England. I was on a solo pilgrimage across the West Country, a few days out from London, looking for a group of stones I’d read about. I got distracted by the looming site of Silbury Hill on the right hand side of the road and I passed the small sign marking West Kennet Long Barrow. I had to double back. A little red brick farmhouse sat beside the road, and next to it was a turnout large enough for maybe four cars. A metal gate led to a footpath curving around the farmhouse and into the empty fields, disappearing over a low hill. As I entered the gate a white goat in the farmyard eyed me with wary curiosity. The only other creature in sight was a man on a green tractor far, far across the golden fields harvesting the grain. I wouldn’t learn until later, much to my chagrin at missing them, that two weeks before there had been crop circles in that grain field.

Once the footpath entered the fields, it was fenced on both sides to keep the tourists from getting into the farmers’ way. It seemed to go on for miles, most of it a steady incline, but the guide book reassured me it only traversed a half mile. I couldn’t see anything remotely resembling a Neolithic barrow, just more hill and more. I began to wonder how such an invisible thing could possibly be as impressive as I’d been led to believe. Then I noticed a section of uncultivated field pop over the horizon, autumnal wild grass and field flowers that, I guessed, the farmer had missed. But only one long snake of field was overgrown, and as I drew nearer I saw a little track of fencing around it. As if the sight of the fence conjured them, the stones appeared, popping over the top of the hill.

I’d expected something grander, I thought, with starker, more clearly delineated stones. Certainly the pictures I’d seen of the barrow had been dramatic. They seemed dinky as I climbed towards them—but I was still a victim of perspective. I climbed and the barrow grew longer, larger. When I finally arrived, the gray-brown guarding stones of the entrance seemed massive.

I didn’t go inside at first, electing instead to climb on top of the barrow, and stretch things out a bit. I spent a long time up there while the chill soaked through my exertion and turned my cheeks slowly numb. A little path ran along the top where God knows how many tourists had trod before, marking out the one hundred meter length of barrow with their soles, wearing away the grass until the white chalk of Wiltshire showed through the top soil. About mid-point the barrow dipped as if it had sunk or collapsed, then rose up again before an undramatic end merging with the hillside. Little white flowers grew in tufts here and there on the barrow and beside it. I started back towards the entrance.

I thought of the ancient people who had been buried here, and was glad I had time to be alone with my thoughts and with the place. I entered the tomb. The light dimmed inside, fed only from the entrance. One long rock chamber went back about twenty feet before ending in a wall. Four alcoves fed off the main chamber, and on a stony shelf in the last of these alcoves, someone had laid some of the wildflowers from the top of the barrow. I thought I understood this act of veneration, for I felt it too—reverence and regret for the bones that had slept here for countless generations, and now sat on the shelf of a museum in Devizes.

I felt something else, too—or thought I did: the presence of the ancestors in this place, something deep, fundamental, and as quiet as the earth beneath my feet. The stones fairly vibrated with presence. I touched them to reassure myself it was only imagination that vibrated in that place. Cold, silent, solid stone, but also something that defied logic, something tiny and barely perceptible, not even strong enough to qualify as vibration. Maybe just the stones breathing, maybe just the earth spinning on its axis. Or maybe, I thought with a stubborn realization, it was the blood in my veins singing to my own ancestors in recognition. I laughed at myself, but the feeling persisted, undeniable, and it filled me with joy.

“Endorphins,” said the logical side of my brain, my explaining away standby any time I have a peak experience. But I always laugh at it, defy it, reject it.

I went back outside and took a deep breath. The chill sank in all the way to my toes, but I hardly noticed. I was really sailing high, spinning out on a line of exhilaration grounded in the earth, but stretched out at its limit. I hoped in that one perfect moment that the line would break so I could go sailing up through the black rain clouds and never, ever come down.

But I climbed back down the path, as one does. On the way down I encountered a couple speaking German to one another, an older man dressed for the excursion, and a much younger girl in stylish clothes and impractical pumps. Maybe a father forcing a recalcitrant child to the summit? She looked sullen and miserable, giving me a pleading look as I passed. What could I possibly tell her, even if there was no language barrier? I’m not sure I even smiled at her as our eyes met. I was trying too hard not to lose the moment, not to be engulfed by the world and the present tense once again.

It didn’t work. It never does. I got back on the A4, on my way to Salisbury.

Mirrored from Better Than Dead.

Quiet guy

Jul. 19th, 2013 10:35 am
pjthompson: quotes (quotei)

Random quote of the day:

“Just once, Tess would like to read a story where someone said, “He was a jerk, and we’re not the least bit surprised someone finally offed him.”  She was beginning to think “quiet guy/kept to himself” was the consequence of an increasingly incurious planet, where no one noticed anyone but themselves.”

—Laura Lippman, In A Strange City

 quietguy4WP@@@
 

Disclaimer:  The views expressed in this random quote of the day do not necessarily reflect the views of the poster, her immediate family, Siegfried and Roy, Leonard Maltin, or the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. They do, however, sometimes reflect the views of the Cottingley Fairies.

 

Mirrored from Better Than Dead.

pjthompson: quotes (quotei)

 

Random quote of the day:

 

“Solitude has but one disadvantage, but that is a serious one, it is apt to give one too high an opinion of one’s self. In the world we are sure to be often reminded of every known or supposed defect we may have…”

—Lord Byron, recounted by Marguerite Gardiner, Countess of Blessington, Journal of Correspondence and Conversations Between Lord Byron and the Countess of Blessington

solitude4WP@@@

 

Disclaimer:  The views expressed in this random quote of the day do not necessarily reflect the views of the poster, her immediate family, Siegfried and Roy, Leonard Maltin, or the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. They do, however, sometimes reflect the views of the Cottingley Fairies.

 

Mirrored from Better Than Dead.

pjthompson: (Default)
I'd been to the ruined abbey of Glastonbury on a previous trip and loved the place so much I'd practically done a photo montage, so I wasn't much in the mood to take pictures this time. Ann and Lynn had never been, so I turned my camera over to Lynn and let her take what she liked, and Ann got some nice pictures, too.

I just wanted to walk around and enjoy the lovely green peace and quiet of the place. Some of the places I revisited on this trip were a disappointment, but not the abbey. It was just as lovely as I remembered it. It's said that King Arthur was buried here...or that may have just been a story cooked up by 12th century monks to get more tourist revenue. It's also said that back in medieval times the land around the abbey and Glastonbury Tor, which looms up in the nearby countryside, was swampy during the wet months of the year. Some have suggested that Glastonbury was actually the place where Arthur was taken when mortally wounded—the Isle of Avalon. Or that may be a story to get more tourist revenue... I don't take sides. It's a wonderfully romantic place, surrounded by evocative legends.

You can view the current batch of photos by CLICKING HERE.

glastonbury abbey

glastonbury "interior"

tree and bishop's kitchen

Gone

Feb. 22nd, 2010 11:15 am
pjthompson: (Default)
From the notebooks, May 4, 1990:



Gone

Soft sighing of breezes in the tall grass,
soughing of the wind in the millet stalks,
cascade of wind chimes, the mourning of doves,
seed heads scattering in a shattering of wings.

The palm's fronds bend and raise and bend
performing a ritual to life—a tiny life,
creeping and sighing all around and
in the clustering of fronds at its crown.

Far across the field, the dog barks,
quieting the sighing and the creeping,
but not for long. Life is insistent: a chittering
of sparrows battling, a fierce squeaking of mice.

All this life, all this quiet noise,
gone, gone, forced on,
to other fields where wreckers have not reached,
and big diggers leave the earth unturned,
where only small burrowing things disturb the soil—
far, far away from here.
pjthompson: (Default)
I haven't updated the pictures of the 2004 trip in awhile. You can look at the current set by CLICKING HERE.

This was one of the last stops we made in Cornwall, on our way to the cottage we rented in Somerset. It was one of my favorite memories of the trip. I've written about it here. It was a lovely, quiet place that put my heart at ease. We all fell completely in love with it.

I also shot my favorite picture of the entire trip here. I'll let you decide which one it was.

Alpha

temple church


and Omega

worship

Migrations

Dec. 29th, 2009 12:29 pm
pjthompson: (Default)
I went for a drive Sunday. I hadn't been in the car since Christmas Eve when the roommate and I went out for our annual Christmas Eve dinner. We had seafood. It was lovely. But I'd turned the radio off while we drove so we could talk and forgot to turn it back on.

I drove for several blocks Sunday without realizing the radio was off, lost in my thoughts, traveling far and wide beyond the road and back again. My windows were closed because it was cold, but I could still hear the outside world, albeit as if trapped inside a bubble. Which in a way, I suppose I was. The city is never quiet, but I enjoyed the relative quiet inside my car.

When I reached towards the radio compulsively, I stopped, made myself stay with my silence and contemplation. And I wondered, when did we as a society become so inured against silence and contemplation? We've always got something going, jingling in our ears, jangling at our fingertips, flaring before our eyes: bright entertainments that never cease until we close our eyes at night and force our minds to shut down. When did we become afraid of our own company?

I put my hand back on the wheel and I listened. I heard the sound of the car's engine, the rattling of a crate in the trunk, the engines of other cars near me and their noisy radios, the voices of pedestrians crossing the street in front of my car, the whoosh of the wind against the windshield, the jiggle of the tires over a rough part of the road. And for one heart-stopping moment, a V of about a dozen geese, honking as they flew low over the treetops heading towards the wetlands at Playa Vista. I cracked the window to listen to that stirring, primal sound—so wild yet here in the middle of the city—and watched that V disappear behind the buildings. I followed them, towards the wetlands.

I'm not for a moment suggesting we all need to throw away our iPods and cells, our games and our internets and Kindles. I'm not really a Luddite. I don't think progress is bad. But a respite, now and then, for quiet and contemplation is a good thing. These migrations to silence and solitude help us get in touch with what's really important to us. If we get so bored by wandering the hallways of our own minds without outside stimulation to distract us away from opening doors and exploring, I wonder just who we are? I wonder if we can ever know who we are inside when all we have is the outside penetrating us at every waking moment?

I don't have an answer. I'm Distraction Girl as much as anyone else. But I really enjoyed that drive in my bubble of quiet, just me and my mind, and what my eyes saw, what my ears heard of the natural world. The sunset the geese flew into was gorgeous fuchsia, pale pink, pale orange, grey, blue-black, black. The wind in the tall grasses of the wetlands shushed me as I rode along, whispering: quiet, listen, listen to what's inside.
pjthompson: (Default)
Writing blocks, for me, can take a couple of different forms. Sometimes I become blocked for a week or two because my Muse is trying to tell me that I've taken a wrong turn somewhere with a current project. He's making me stop until I figure it out, back up, and get off the wrong path. Once I get clear on that, things generally start moving again.

Another kind of writing block is more insidious and harder to cure because it involves the recognition that I've taken a wrong turn inside myself. I stop writing when I get out of balance, but it's sometimes hard to realize that's happening. Fortunately, these reassessments of my life's path occur only every ten years or so, and the good news is that I've gotten much cannier about recognizing them. In my misspent youth, I'd sometimes spin my wheels for months, even years on one horrible occasion, mostly in a state of denial. Denial is the road to nowhere, pretty much.

So, how to fix myself rather than the project I am working on? Not always easy, but admitting there is a problem is a crucial step. Usually, in the midst of that whole reassessment thing, it's required to sit down somewhere quiet, to let the doubts and fears and questions and wants and hopes and aspirations and whatever crowd around. Once they do, it requires more quiet time to listen to their various complaints, let them sink down into the deep levels, and see which of them are valid and which of them are just more wheel spinning. It requires asking them, asking myself, what I really want. What's important to me, and not necessarily the great wide world.

This is not a society which values quiet time and passive receptivity. We are doers. We believe in going out and hunting down our solutions rather than letting them pad in on soft paws and lie beside us. We don't like mixing our metaphors, either. If we're on the damned road, we want to stay on the damned road. If we're out in a forest clearing sitting around with wild things—well, we don't want to do that. It's too passive. And, besides, wild things are scary. What if they attack us, try to eat us? What if we're like that guy who went into the wilds of Alaska and relied too much on books on nature craft rather than being taught true nature craft and wound up eating poison mushrooms and dying alone and in agony?

But sometimes that's exactly what you have to do. Well, not eating the poison mushrooms part, but the going into the wilds and sitting around the campfire.

This is not a time of year that lends itself to quiet time. It's become this mad, rushing thing; a crazed pursuit of some perverted perfection of consumerism, getting caught up in doing things a certain way and being the ultimate hostess. But it should not be. The Winter Solstice was always a time of sitting around the fire while the cold rages outside, of taking an accounting of the year and the harvest just past, of feasting and expiating the gods so that they will bring the spring once more. It's a time of waiting for the world to be reborn.

After weeks of wheel spinning, I've finally started to make myself sit down, be quiet, and listen to the wild things as they tentatively, shyly come padding in to lie near my fire. They are as scared of me as I of them, but they do not try to eat me. (Or feed me poison mushrooms.) They have already begun talking to me, going deeper. And I've finally started to listen.

Stay tuned.
pjthompson: (Default)
From the notebooks, June 16, 1992:




Here in the cloistered garden
leaves shush with the whispers
of angels, the divine laughs
in the water of the fountain.

My sounds are lost in this quiet
whirlwind; my words like pebbles
dropped into a pool.

I ask for things, while the voices
are their own selves, unconcerned
if anyone is listening.
pjthompson: (Default)
Random quote of the day:


"No trumpets sound when the important decisions of our life are made. Destiny is made known silently. The wheels turn within our hearts for years and suddenly everything meshes and we are lifted into the next level of progress."

—Alice DeMille, Dance to the Piper







Illustrated version. )




Disclaimer: The views expressed in this random quote of the day do not necessarily reflect the views of the poster, her immediate family, Siegfried and Roy, Leonard Maltin, or the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. They do, however, sometimes reflect the views of the Cottingley Fairies.
pjthompson: (Default)
(From my notebooks, August 1992)

On a cold day in late September with occasional showers of rain, I was pretty much alone on the A4 highway driving from Marlborough towards Devizes in Wiltshire, England. I passed the small sign marking West Kennet Long Barrow and had to double back. A little red brick farmhouse sat right beside the road, and next to it was a turnout large enough for maybe four cars. A metal gate led to a footpath that curved around the farmhouse and into the empty fields beyond to disappear over a low hill. As I entered the gate a white goat in the farmyard eyed me with wary curiosity. The only other creature in sight was a man on a green tractor far, far across the golden fields harvesting the grain.

Once the path entered the fields, it was fenced on both sides to keep the tourists from getting into the farmers’ way. It seemed to go on for miles, most of it a steady incline, but the guide book reassured me it only traversed a half mile. I couldn’t see anything remotely resembling a Neolithic barrow, just more hill and more. I began to wonder how such an invisible thing could possibly be as impressive as I'd been led to believe. Then I noticed a section of uncultivated field pop over the horizon, autumnal wild grass and field flowers that, I guessed, the farmer had missed. But only one long snake of field was overgrown, and as I drew nearer I saw a little track of fencing around it. As if the sight of the fence conjured them, the stones appeared, popping over the top of the hill.

Read more. )

Hello??

Jul. 21st, 2007 11:58 am
pjthompson: (Default)
::cricket:: ::cricket:: ::cricket::

That's what I thought.

::sigh::

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